Best you can do is encourage her to find a new surgeon. You aren't your friend's keeper. I wouldn't get all wrapped up in drama if the person doesn't want your input.

See, That is the difference. I don't 'rollover' when someone 'ignorantly' says 'NO'.

Yeah, seems to me this isn't the first time you have been not listened to (there was a lot of relationship drama with either the first shunt or a revision unless you never posted to one of the other mailing lists). Trying to *make* someone listen frequently causes them to dig in more, not less. Respecting another person's boundaries is the better response, not otherwise.

Figures you would say something like that. Negatively judge me before you know all the facts, really smart.

When it comes to simple emotions, I don't 'push the envelope'. But when it comes to someone's physical health, I don't mince words.

In April n' May 2012, she had been telling me about having headaches. I asked her about getting a pregnancy test. She discounted it, and I didn't push it. It turned out she was two months pregnant when I asked her about getting a pregnancy test. That very pregnancy was the cause of her hydrocephalus, nearly killed her.

In Nov.'02, my (ex)fiance was finally diagnosed with NPH as a result of having been physically abused as a child.

In Dec.'05, she slipped on 'black ice' while we were waiting for a bus. For the next eleven months, I fought with the doctors' about her shunt being busted. I finally had to take her to a new neurosurgeon. The moment he saw her scans, he nearly blew a gasket. He said I was right.

You may sit silently by when someone you care about is in medical trouble. I don't sit by and watch like my (ex)wife did, as I had a near-fatal seizure.

Mm, you accuse me of judging you and then turn around with negative speculations of your own about me. I think that says a lot about you.
Dealing with docs who don't listen is a completely different issue, think that is part and parcel of dealing with specialists/humans. Aside from encouraging and supporting your friend, it really isn't something you control. But how you communicate with your friend can leave open doors or cause her to want to close them.

I didn't 'accuse' you of anything. I said "may", that is not an assertion based on fact. But a perception based on public attitude.

As for her 'closing doors' on me. The only time she has ever done that, was following her being released from the hospital in 2012. her fiance was bugging her to cut contact. Which she did on three consecutive weeks, only to contact me days later.

I did close the door for nine months where Yahoo Messenger is concerned, but not on her specifically. I just found it overwhelming and needed a break. Our only form of contact is through Yahoo Messenger. So she was naturally wondering where I went, when I re-installed Yahoo Messenger in May 2012 after getting a new computer for my birthday.

Yes, Regardless of whether you agree or not, it sounds like a circus. I even asked her in 2012 why she wanted to stay in touch with everything going on.
Her reasoning was because she felt like she could talk to me. Considering her hydro, I am glad she can.

Her fiance was initially hostile about her hydro to the point that he broke up with her for a week in 2012. I don't know the exact reason for their separation right before Christmas. But I wouldn't be surprised if his hostility about her health is part of it.

how is she ? Has she done some mRI/scan? what doctor told ?

She hasn't had anymore headaches since they stopped. But she hasn't seen a doctor or had an MRI. I am hoping she called a 'bulge' in the back of her neck, was just a small kink in the tube that worked itself out. Still, The fact that it was red and she had severe headaches, is something I don't want to happen again. I am just glad she was with her mother n' wasn't with her fiance at the time.

Something slightly similar happened to me last summer. But it didn't cause headaches, or redness on the bulge, and it only lasted a couple days. The bulge on the side of my neck was, about the size of the cap from a Perrier bottle.