Austin has been 3 weeks in his new apt with 3 other roommates and for the last 2 weeks it has been horrid they make fun of him, they party all night and then they got mean, so we took Austin out of there, it is so sad due to now we have to find another roommate and house, we are interviewing a few tomorrow, but the trouble seemed to start when Austin told his other roommates his conditions not that he did not mention he took meds for conditions, and was going to special service.
Big question do we tell the details or wait and tell as he gets to know others and do we tell at all?
What do you adults do?
My husbands says tell all right away, Me I m not sure, I think mention he is in the disable student program, and has some conditions, is a good start.
my poor kid all he really wants is to go to school, and those kids were so horrid they beat him emotionally down and now he wonders if he can do this college thing at all
WWwwaaaaaaa
what do you think?

It is hard when your disability does't show on the outside. While interviewing new roomies, I would use a scenario and see what their reactions are. Guys with compassion are hard to find, but they are still out there.

Since my dystonia is easily recognizable I didn't have trouble, what you see is what you get.

I hope you can find appropriate roomies for Austin.

Hugs,
Suzie

I always get to know people before I tell them I am diabetic. That way they are less likely to look at me "that" way and know ME before they assume something. What is Austin thinking on tell/don't tell?

I am sorry he had to go through that. College, change, and new independence is tough enough.... I hope he finds a good roomie so he can be HIMSELF! And so he can succeed!

That sucks!
So sorry to hear this. Does the college have a dorm? Can the disabilities service match him up with a potential roomie? Kids this age can be so damned mean.
Hannahs sister is still have roommate issues at 22. She has chosen to stay in town and take classes at the local branch campus. Works good for her and us, but it means she has to find roomies to share an apartment (can't live with us.... too much stress....lol).
I thought it was just girls but not after reading this.
Maybe a studio apartment? Or a room in exchange for labor or other help.
I'm sure you have already thought this through. (((((So sorry)))))).
Hope you find a better solution.
Hang in there,
Lisa

I've never been in a situation where I had to live with a roommate. I took college courses at the technical college here in town and still stayed at home.

The problems I come across sometimes are on the job and also just making friends in general. Most people, I do not say anything about my hydro to unless they're sincerely asking about it and want to know. Once I feel comfortable with the person, it's OK. But I HAVE had my share of being made fun of, and it's a hard situation especially since there are some scenarios where I cannot control who the people around me are (group situations at school, classmates in general, etc...). I would maybe talk to the special needs department and see what can be done. There has to be something. Some students they know of that are compassionate and understanding...etc...but I know how the poor guy feels.

((((((((Deb))))))))) and ((((((((((Austin)))))))))))).

God, this makes me so sad. It's frighteningly reminiscent of my early college days, too. I wasn't in college three months when I had a breakthrough seizure and had to go back onto phenobarb after being off of it for about 3 years. Of course, that meant being stoned, exhausted, and stupid for at least a month, and I had finals coming up, so I had absolutely no time for that!

A neuro I went to somehow convinced me to switch to Tegretol...and I think most of you know at least some of that horrible story. Well, on top of that, my roommates were complete bitches, to say the least. I was crowded out of the room and essentially had a bed and nothing else. I felt like a prisoner on Death Row.

How much might it have helped to tell them about my med history before all of this happened?? I doubt it would have made much of an impact. They didn't care whether I lived or died. Some people are just @$$holes. Sorry for the French, but there is no benign synonym that would illustrate my point, sad to say. Starting over may be all he can do.


((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))),

LIZARD

austin is going to a very large junior college and yes liz Austin felt like a prisoner too, the disabilities service will not do any roomate dealings it becomes a soap opera
our semi-solution is to place Austin with families, the 2 we are checking tomorrow are families with a room to rent
your responses made me realize how hard it can be for others with conditions, and how we are all so unsure of what others will do, the world is full of fools, heartless rude ways are more the norm then kindness anymore it is sad so sad.......
I so had hoped the world was a gentler kinder place but it is not.

((((((((Deb))))))))) and ((((((((Austin))))))))))

What about getting his doc's intervention? If he wrote a note or called the school, would that help? This needs to be dealt with immediately. I had szs from fights with my roommates, and God...he doesn't need that!

I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how much this must hurt and upset you as a mom. If you want, have Austin E (ahead@cox.net) or PM me. I think it would help him to know someone else has been there.


I hope this helps in some small way. Please keep me up to date.

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))),

LIZARD

That's so very sweet of you Liz, I thank you for your offer, Austin won't have his computer set up for awhile, about a week or so, but I will let him know.

I do have good news, Austin got a room with a family (single dad with kids and one other roommate 37 yr old hippie type lady) in an old 4 bedroom+ den beach type house 2 blocks from Newport Back Bay. When Austin told him he was hydrocephalic, the father said he had dated a women who had a son who had Hydro, said the boy had memory loss, Austin said he too had short term memory problems, the man talked a while with Austin then asked if Austin was on meds too, Austin explained yes told him about having a deaf ear and the Dad said he had had a heart attack and he too was on some meds, Austin's conditions were Ok with him, we explained the plan of family 30 mins away if Austin had problems and the if it seems really bad 911 it.
Wow I feel much better, Austin has his own room with key locks on the door and the closet and there is a cable box and internet and full use of the house, a 2nd fridge to keep family and roommates food away from kids, it's a funky house but very clean, you can smell the Ocean and there are banana trees in the front yard, oH and it is a 10 min. bus ride to the school, with the bus stop 13 houses away.( the family 30 min's away is a 2 hour bus ride to school for Austin)
I will always worry but I feel this might work well, Austin moved in lightly today and we will move the rest of his stuff in next Sunday.
I wish we lived by a college but the closes one is 45 miles down a MNT with no bus system so Austin must live away from us I am so worried, but this is his dream and his goal so onward and forward Austin
Nothing is ever easy for Austin, but he keep on keepin on
love to you all
Deborah

So glad to hear that Austin straightened out his roommate/housemate situation. Sounds like he's on the right track now.

Roommates was definitely one of the reasons I didn't go to college away from home until I was 25, believe me. And then, when I did finally move into a dorm, I had an extremely small room all to myself. In fact, I never had a roommate while at college.

Also, I just have to say that I'm so glad I figured out what I was doing wrong getting registered here, so I can actually post something now.

Vicki
(first shunted for hydrocephalus in 1959)