I'm starting to wonder if I should apply for SSDI because of fatigue. I've been job hunting for nearly three months now since we closed the old company and I've only had one interview. I know my age plays against me (I'm 51) but if someone actually hires me, I don't know if I'll be able to hold down a real job.

I worked M,T,TH, & F at my last job and it was very difficult for me to stay awake and stay focused, even with Provigil twice a day.

I started a home based business and it's all set up, have done a variety of advertising, but I don't have the energy to go out to meet people, etc... We've been very slow and I don't know if it will pick up or not. I can't afford to put more money into it, especially if it isn't going to have any returns.

It's hard enough for me to function at home doing regular activities, let alone going to a job each day. And to drive out of town, forget about it.

I would need a comfortable desk and chair and climate control and really, who is going to want to be jumping at the chance for that, at my age? I miss frequently for doctor appointments. I look tired too, the fatigue starts to show on my face after a few hours of any activity.

I adjust my symptoms meds and things go haywire. The ones I take are the ones I need and can't do without. I feel exhausted most of the time. I can get things done sometimes, but those are spurts that last a day or two then I need to rest and take it easy for 3-4 days.

I also take blood pressure meds and anti-depressants and meds to help me sleep. I need baclofen off and on for muscle spasticity. That gets worse if I have to sit for long periods of time. And then of course I go for my monthly infusion that requires an entire day. I'm always tired the next day too and get nothing done then.

I haven't mentioned this to DH or my neuro yet, just want to get some feedback from you all here.

I have always been one to put on a strong front, but that's wearing me out too.

I have always been a hard worker and I hate to think about this, but it's starting to look like it might be necessary?

I have to say one of the biggests issues I had right before I was taken out of work was my fatigue. I realized that I was no longer "living". Just going through the motions of the day. I no longer looked forward to anything because I couldn't see past the next few hours. It was all because my fatigue was so bad. There were other factors that caused my neuro to take me out of work though and that was the main reason for filing for SSDI. I hope you get a lot of feedback with regard to fatigue and SSDI from others who have gone through the SSDI process. I just wanted you to know I understand exactly where you are coming from with the fatigue and working, as I'm sure most MS'ers will also understand.

I fought retirement! I didnt want it, I felt cheated, I felt robbed. I thought for sure my life was gonna be over. I went out kicking and screaming until...


once I got some time behind me. Some rest behind me. some sanity behind me. some medications behind me. Some support behind me, I found that my life was a thousand times better. The removal of the stressors of my job, and the pressures that surrounded it were awesome! I no longer had to panic about having meals prepared a week in advance, the laundry, the ironing, the shopping, the housekeeping, the schedules that surrounded mine that needed to be in sync, children that had to be dropped off or picked up, MD appointments, dental appointments, and so on...the list really does go on.


You know it when you reach the point of being ready, and it sounds like you are there my friend. Start being kinder to yourself. Research what you need to do for that SSDI. Make sure you research what your check will be. Can you live on that? Make sure your household budget, and expectations of other family members are in alignment with your own. I think you are ready to simply step up and ask for a chance to take better care of yourself.

Research is a key point. Check in with the Soc.Sec. website -- tons of info there.

Talk to your family and doctors.

I wish you well!!!

Niko

Wiz,

I do not qualify for SSDI, but can apply for long term disability through the state 9pension plan). If you read my post on insights, you know that today I decided to send in my information for our pre retirement glide. I am 52. The earliest I can retire is January 2012, but I am going to try to hold our for May 2012. This was not an easy decision for me to make because in some ways I feel like I will be giving up my identity, and I will have to become more frugal. I understand what you are going through as I am exhausted, and it is only the 5th week of the semester. I just hope I can make it to 2012.

I do not have any words of wisdom regarding SSDI. Hopefully others can give you some good advice.

Fatigue is one of my worst sx. I honestly could not put in even one day like I used to. There's no way. Add cog fog to the mix and you've got the recipe for disaster.

Make sure your Neuro has noted in your medical records that fatigue is bothering you. SS will be looking at your medical records to determine the course of your disability.

Good luck!

I say tell the DH and the doctor and go for SSDI.

Everything you posted says (to me) that you are ready to move in a different direction.

As you well know, you are more than your work. I say if you can, do it and see where life takes you next.

Just my never humble opinion...

Wiz,
1. Talk it over with DH if money is a problem. Otherwise, it's your life to live and decide about, not his. He doesn't live in your shoes, no one does. Even if he loves you to pieces it's your body that suffers.

2. Find out the amount of SSDI you will get. A ball park figure is good.

3. Figure your medical costs and of having no ins, if you have it now. You don't get medical ins on Medicare for 18 months. Ask Kitty. If you can get COBRA for 18 months and afford it, that might work.

You are on expensive medication, it is on your DH's plan?

If you worked part-time you get credit for only pt hours and pt money. They do ask about all your past jobs and where, when, what you made and what you did.

They want pay stubs, so if you had your own business that might be an issue.

If you worked at home, that is an issue too. Look on SS sites on forums for disability Q & A's you might have.

Then they ask the health questions, over and over, sent in questionnaires. Copy them before you send them back to them, because they ask the same info over and over in different wording.

They want copies of medical tests, doctors reports, everything you can get together helps.

All this is done after one meeting with the SS people in person, or online if you want, or by appt. by you calling them. They are nice and it isn't a bad process. If you paid into it, you deserve the money back when you need it.

Wiz, I wish you lots of luck. Go for it if you can afford it. It took a few years to get used to being home, but I couldn't keep up.

Even driving to work, when I left NYC and went to work by bus was so tiring. On the bus I could sleep. But not while I was driving everyday for an hour each way though.

It won't be an issue with DH, he'd like it if I quit working. I know how to be extremely frugal when necessary so I know we can do it. The home business is really for my sons, and only one is working there now, I haven't been an employee. He does any work that comes along.

I just think it might be a decision I'm forced to make, I don't know if anybody would hire me for the kind of work I do. Who wants somebody that is always half asleep, especially when doing accounting and administration tasks? I don't even think I would hire me if I had the choice for somebody else who was young and energetic.

I'm on my husbands insurance that he has through his union from the IBEW. It's expensive but it would cover me until I'd get medicare.

If I could find a job that would fit with the accommodations I need, I would take it, but I don't know how long I could actually do it to be honest.

The past few years I've noticed myself transpose numbers sometimes. I had ways of checking myself, but would I be able to do that in a new job? Would they put up with me on my slow days (which is really everyday now) or my sick days? So many unknowns, but I'll talk to my MS neuro and also my new PCP when I meet with him on Monday.

I am 20 years old and on SSI. I applyed for over 30 jobs and couldnt do any of them because of my poor vision and the drs tell me its just going to get worse. I feel like crap have to live on SSI. and it took me about a year to get it. I felt so bad watching everyoen around me go off ot work and me haveing to set at home doing nothing. but i am doing something about it now i am going to go to the mcdowl center for the blind and start learning how to do stuff now b4 i go blind or if i ever do. When i complet the training there they will find me a job that i can do. I have to wait until my daughter is about two years old or so but i am going. I went once for two weeks just for the evaluation and loved it i started learning brail and everything it was great. But dont feel bad SSI and SSDI is there for people who cant work or who needs help. I hate to say it but with out SSI I dont know how i would be makeing it.