((((((((((((Judy))))))))))))) I'm so genuinely sorry to hear you're going through such a crap time - can you see a light at the end of the tunnel or is that a daft question?

Yes, I can't speak for others, but I feel like my life used to be one big circle which over the years has gradually shrunk to a pin prick of a dot. You're not alone in feeling the way you do - and I fully support and understand your way of thinking. Please hang in there, one thing about MS is that you never know what tomorrow will bring - and just as it can bring bad, so too can it bring good. PM me if you want to talk luv.

Yes, I have felt that way Judy, and I am very empathetic to your thoughts & emotions.

It is often our circumstances that make us feel so bad/sad, but perhaps a new antidepressant might actually help somewhat? They can lose their effectiveness, I imagine, and a new drug might do what it should.

Are you still having relapses? Sounds like you might be going through a particularly bad time, so it could be . . .?

I was going downhill quite fast in 2004, after a serious of back-to-back attacks. I have felt so much better (EDSS has even improved) since going on LDN. If you are on nothing else, it might be worth a try.

Sorry to hear you are feeling down and having a hard time.

Cherie

My dear Judy, Yes I understand and have felt this way, periodically. If it gets too bad, then I know that it's time to change ADs. I even posted here, I think, that I was down and thought about changing meds and then it lifted. I don't know why, my AD started working again and I just felt better. Maybe it's because I took charge. It was empowering.

If this has been going on for awhile, Judy, you should empower yourself to get help, before it completely takes over. I have been in that abyss and never want to go there again. Ask your Doc if you can try a new AD. I believe there is just the right AD for everyone. Mine is Paxil right now and for the last 6 years, but it may not be the one for you. There are many that did not work for me. I kept trying until I found the one that worked for me.

Do you have Family or close friends that you can talk with. Maybe a counceler would help you. Don't hold this in to save others the worry. You need someone to worry about you and to hold you.

I just hate that you are feeling so low and unworthy. You know you are a good person and that you are needed and loved. MS is an evil disease, sucking our strength and playing with our psychological well being, but God gave us tools to help ourselves, so don't give up the fight to feel better.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers, as always.

Sally

AGR, Cherie and Sally -- Thank you so much for your hugs and encouraging words. It really meant alot knowing you care and can identify with these rotten feelings, although it makes me sad that you can.

My doctor increased the zoloft rather than going with another AD since I've been on many of them over the years. Hopefully the increase will help.

Cherie -- I've been on LDN for a couple years and it does help somewhat with the bladder issue, but it too is getting worse. The neuro has labeled me SPMS and I don't seem to have relapses, it just keeps progressing all the time and never is any better. With the fibro, I'm extremely weather sensitive so whenever rain/snow/just a lower pressure system comes along, the pain is excrutiating. It feels like I'm constantly getting the flu along with the ms symptoms. So far, no pain meds have touched this.

Probably a specialized counselor would be helpful to talk with, but I don't know of any in this area or where to look to find one. My 'kids' aren't close enough to see regularly plus I wouldn't feel comfortable speaking about some of these "ms things" with them. There are a couple good friends, but you know how it is, unless someone actually has ms, they just don't get it. The same with fibromyalgia -- everyone has aches and pains, but this is a whole different thing.

It's mostly the increasing changes we have to adjust to and accept in our lives with this miserable disease, that are so difficult to deal with. Yes, I know there will be some better days, but being unable to get into my car to drive without help, unable to leave my house, unable to take one or two "normal" lousy steps along with the constant pain, is just too much to deal with at times.

Thank you again for your kind words, the human touch is always a God-send.

Gentle hugs.....Judy

judy,

been there, done that ... still doing it. the constant weekly (sometimes daily) adjustment to even more progression can become old, fast. i have not found the answer either. bah, humbug!

instead of taking it one day at a time, you have to sometimes take it an hour at a time. hang in there -- ((((( judy ))))