[Judy2]

Do you ever get this feeling that your life is on a downward slide and nothing can slow it down plus nobody else is aware of your feelings? This pretty much describes my life these past weeks.

All I want to do is sleep -- at least try to. The constant, horrendous fibromyalgia pain always gets in the way. When I awake, I'm as tired as when I went to bed. A good part of my 'awake' time is spent nodding off. Using this powerchair all the time, my legs and now arms, keep getting weaker. It's almost impossible standing long enough to wash my hair at the kitchen sink, let alone trying to take a shower.

The vision is blurrier than it used to be. My bladder control is non-existent. By the time I simply get dressed in sweatpants and shirt, I'm puffing and completely exhausted. My feet and ankles are so swollen, my shoes no longer fit. Nothing will correct this according to my doctor.

The spastic legs......ouch! How do you get "stiff-as-a-board legs" into/and out of bed? It's impossible to get them covered up until the spasms gradually stop. Still sliding.....

Whatever happened to my "former life"? It was so rewarding...making music, reading, being a grandma, helping others, etc. Now it's reduced to sitting here in my house alone for days on end, trying to live like everything is normal. Big slide.....

Yes, depression even with an increase of AD's. How can we not be depressed? Just another part of life going away....

Does anyone else feel this way? Of course the disease is in the progressive stage, but why even bother? It's really getting hard trying to function each day and harder yet figuring out why?