Originally Posted by SandyC

This is a hard one for me since I am on the spousal side. Since this is something new, I would suspect it has something to do with the flare, maybe. I just don't know because as a spouse I would question it as well. Please do not think ill of me, just giving you the spouse side as best I can. I told Trish I didn't even know how to respond and be bias.

However, with that being said, I do hope you seek some sort of help because this is not normal. When I read your first post I knew immediately this is not the Faith we "know" at all. It seems strange that your husband would not feel the same way. But, with that said, I can also feel his pain and his anger that you would even think about a site like that because you weren't getting any at home. That's not a judgment, it's how a spouse would feel.

I know if Jim did something like this my first reaction would be hurt and utter devastation that he even thought to go and solicit sex from someone else. In our world sex is not a priority in our relationship at all. It's good, don't get me wrong, and yes we still do. But if I had to go without it's all good in that sense as well. Intimacy is more of a priority for us. So, yeah, if Jim even thought about what you almost did I would be hurt and feel my world was turned upside down.

I think your husband may be feeling the same way. Think about it, he is having issues in that area too. To have his wife look outside the marital home must be a huge blow to his ego. He may be hiding it behind his anger so you don't see the hurt. I think anger is a normal and appropriate response to this and I think you need to give him time to digest it all and grieve it.

If this is a medical problem brought on by your flare than you need to prove that to him. Yes, prove it because not everyone would jump to that conclusion if they do not have ms or know what a flare can do. Hell, even I didn't know it until your post. I truly am sorry your going through this, I really am because this is not like you. Please get to a doctor and get this resolved so your husband can see that it may be related to your flare.

I know your thinking why should you have to prove that to him or yourself? Because this is your marriage and he will need to know that is the reason behind your behavior. Only then will he be able to move passed it and forgive. Even if it's not due to the flare he may be able to get passed it but that will take some time as well.

Please do not think I am judging you. Just wanted you to see the other side and why he may be behaving like that. We spouses who stay, and there are many who do, stay because we love our spouse. MS is not a factor and never will be. But when something like this happens, it crushes everything we believe in and makes us wonder why we tried? Hope that makes sense.

I do hope you two work it out. Be honest and open with him. He's only human.

Originally Posted by tkrik

Faith - I don't think there is a way to clinically prove this and a physician may be hard pressed to get in the middle by saying one way or another because it would be difficult to prove. If you know what I mean. However, discussing this with your neuro, imo, is important. And, yes, this is out of character for you and definitely a cause for concern - as many of us on here expressed.

The brain is so complex, hence the neuros can't grasp it all - they're just "practicing". j/k any neuros reading this. With many brain damaged patients (MS or not) there are a plethora of behavioral/personality changes that CAN take place. Some subtle, some not so subtle. Throw in some medications, depression issues, hormones, etc., etc. and . . .

I did find this and thought you might find it interesting. . . (Maybe that could be your "proof"). This could possibly, and I use possibly lightly as I am not in your situation, etc., be what you are experiencing.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12056938

The bigger issue here is to not sweep it under the carpet because DH is forgiving. It may lay dormant under the carpet and resurface. Please, talk to your dr about this.

Originally Posted by Dejibo

a peice of that article speaks about DYS function, but the next sentence says

In contrast, hypersexual behavior and paraphilias are distinctly uncommon in this population of patients, but have been associated with various focal brain lesions


This is the leg to stand on. You are RARE in what is happening to you, but not ALONE. Others have it Documented as a REAL happening in MS folks.

Originally Posted by SallyC

Sounds like you and DH could both use a little of that day hospital. (Thx for that! Lol) Some therapy by a professional could be beneficial.

My best wishes for you both, Faith.