Erin don't you have a boyfriend? I thought you mentioned that. Could you call him and ask him to bring some take-out in? Or can you call one that delivers. Heck, I'd call upstairs and tell them to make me a sandwich and bring it down.

Erin I would get another Neuro. Yours is not helping you and not available enough to you. There is also the possibility that the numbness may be residual damage if you have it a long time. Numbness can stay as long as you are not totally numb and can't walk. It comes and goes for many, or stays for a long time.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Go up and raid the refrigerator.

My boyfriend lives in another town 50 miles from here, and he works constantly, trying to get his head above water since the economy monster hit him (his dad closed their store, and he's been working jobs that dont pay enough since then)

I had my steroids at the beginning of may (3 days IVSM, and 2weeks of tapered prednisone) The 'roids seemed to work for about two weeks, and then BOOM! the symptoms came back.

I really hope that doesnt mean that the steroids failed.

Today, I've been noticing weakness in my left hand. It kind of feels like it's sprained, and numb. I was eating dinner (finally! went to Carraba's and got some lasagna, chicken Parmesan and spaghetti...and some bread with oil and herb mix and some minestrone soup. Saved the minestrone for tomorrow's lunch) I noticed that my left hand felt weird when I was eating. I cut meat with my right hand and eat with my left...my hand felt strange, and I felt like I was having problems controlling the fork. I'm an ambidextrous eater, so I switched to the right. Fork felt weird there too, but not as much as with the left hand.

My hands feel slick. Anything that I pick up that's smooth feels like it's going to slide right out of my hand.

My left shoulder feels extremely stiff now. It hurts to raise my arm up above the shoulder. Shoulder keeps wanting to pop out of joint. (I'm double jointed in the shoulders...can usually painlessly pop them in and out of joint whenever I want to...just hurts too much to do now)

I'm really annoyed with the numb hand right now, because it seems like some of my dexterity is affected. I just bought $50 in new knitting needles from Knitpicks.com and I'm having such a problem knitting with that hand. Just got those needles today, and it's bugging me that I cant really use them. I did do a little knitting with some scrap to try one of them out, but it was really difficult to do.

I hope I didnt just waste $50 (and I hope this numbness resolves so I can knit and crochet again!!! That's my stress reliever)

My neck is hurting like it did when I hurt my neck last fall, so I'm wondering if this numbness is from that neck injury. I think I re-injured my neck, or maybe the MS is irritating that injury. (or the injury is irritating the MS?) Or it's just the MS trolls in my head being ***h**** screwing around with me.

My sister and her family finally left to go back to their house and I could finally relax. (when they come over, they literally take over the place and even tho she's family, I cant relax with them around...especially when I feel like crap like I do now)

My dad told me that my niece came to him, wondering where the control to the lifting recliner went. She wanted it back. Luckily he was actually happy that I stole the control, and told her that she didnt need it. (she wanted to sit and raise the chair up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down. I dont think we ever told her the chair on the glassed in deck does that...otherwise she'd have been out there too) So I didnt get kvetched at for stealing the control to the chair. Yay!

Dear Erin,

I've read this entire thread twice just to make sure I understand your circumstances. I have great empathy and sympathy for your physical symptoms and I'm fully aware they affect every aspect of one's life. I don't believe the "physical" game is what's hitting you the hardest. It is the game going one between your ears which is the major challenge.

Ironically, the game between the ears is the only game we have total control. What I am about to share may not be what one "wants" to hear, but what one "should" hear. Take it for what it's worth, should it be of any value or benefit to you. I present it without malice or ulterior motive. And you may feel free to tell me to simply go sc**w myself.

Many times when feeling bad physically we become highly frustrated with the fact others don't seem to care. Everybody has their own filter for what occurs in their surroundings. Our challenge is to learn not to give them permission to mess with our heads and not take ownership of their shortcomings. This allows them to take control of our lives and we are the only ones who may allow or deny that power.

The best example of my point is how you took the "power" of messing with your mind away from the individual using the power chair. That is what I'm talking about but applying it to all areas of your life. Regarding the dinner, who gives a dink whether they had seafood or not? Nothing but allowing them to distract your thoughts prevented you from simply fixing your own dinner or even leaving to go out for something. Waiting for someone else to "understand and respond" to what we believe they should, are misguided expectations of others.

I have been in your situation 100% and it took me some time to realize I was no longer going to allow these people to affect me in this manner. (Doctors and neuros especially.) I got very angry and began to be my own best advocate. The response of other people was nothing less than amazing. The power and strength I granted myself actually had a positive effect on my symptoms and their severity. As the movie said, "I'm mad as h*ll and I'm not going to take it anymore!" So I did something about it and took my power back.

I ask that you only think about this as it may or may not apply to your situation. Use what you can, discard the rest but do what is in your best interest. Do not give permission allowing other people to define you. Take that darn power control and don't let anybody move that chair but you. I know you are strong and none of this is a big surprise to you.

I will make it a point, should I ever come to visit, to politely ask which chair shall I sit?

Thank you for reading this. I hope it is of some help.

Your friend,

Oh Erin! it really does sound like stress is the key word of your corner right now, and stress...well, stresses me out! my sx go crazy when I am overly stressed, and I get all sorts of sx that pop up and go crazy.

I too have one of those sisters that has zero idea of how badly she impacts those around her, and has a Tough Patootie attitude if you confront her. Since I cant change her, I CAN change me. Can you schedule time at your b/f house when you know she will be in town? or taking over the house? Can you just close your door, and watch tv? order a delivery of food for your own door? As for the neice riding the chair like a horse, you did the right thing, just remove the remote. Little kids like things like that, and she was just being a kid after all. If her momma would take control and teach her...(not going there) and you do have your own space in your parents house. Your parents simply cannot refuse to allow one child to be home, and not the other. It just isnt fair. Even if one is handicapped. If the door is open to one, its open to the other. I am sure you get that.

I hope you take some time to relax. Do yoga, meditate, zone out, get out of that house, take a mini day trip, take some ME ME ME time, even if its just a bubble bath with the door locked. I know you have worked hard to take care of mom, but you also need to take good care of you.

My world changed dramatically when I stopped trying to change my sister, and started changing the way i reacted to her. I now view her as sad, lost, and unable to control herself. I cant get mad at a rooster for crowing at the dawn light, any more than I can get mad at a goat for chewing things. She is the animal she is, and me getting mad wont turn her into a princess. PM if you want to talk.

Reason I didnt leave last night, I'm scared to drive my car with all the numbness and reduced mobility crap going on. I'm scared my reaction time has been fubared. Not many restaurants will deliver at 930 at night too.

My dad ended up taking me up to a restaurant to get take out. (that was good, but it's bugging me this morning)

I didnt fall asleep till about 630am. It's now 945am. Dontcha just love the sleep deprivation from the MS sometimes? Now my head hurts. Argh!!! (neck hurts more now too)

I think I'm going to lay back down and see if sleep will happen again. I'm tired.

Hey Erin, I am just now catching up. Sounds like you had one heck of a challenging day, but you did get through it OK. I understand what you mean about driving. By doctor's orders, especially after the brain stem stroke, I am limited to driving within a 5 mile radius of home. Personally, I think he's trying to kill me because don't 60 some percent of all fatal accidents occur within 5 miles of home?

My biggest problem with driving is cognitive and attention. Too munch incoming info at the same time to process, easily distracted, forget I'm even driving a car.

Your's is the first post I read this morning, at 4:30 AM, and you made be laugh out loud which felt great. Why? You used the word "fubard." I love it and thank you!

Hoping you have a better day today since the day is brand new once again.

I still feel FUBAR.

I'm tired, sore and the MS trolls in my head are not letting me sleep. I'm trying to drug them into submission with ativan. It's not working...wait...maybe...nope.

A bomb could go off right now, and I'm calm enough that I'd just look over and critique the special effects and complain a little about the noise, but I probably wouldnt get up because the ativan has me calm...just not sleepy enough to let me sleep.

I'm going to attempt the sleeping again...I wish my Kindle book I just bought had the text-to-speech enabled on it. If it were, I'd have the kindle read me a story. The droning monotone of the computer voice it reads with would have me out pretty quickly probably.

ok, time for lap two on the sleeping attempt.