Motivation is tricky, especially if you are like many of us, resistant to what feels like nagging and control. It might help if you set up a chart or schedule to do all those things you know you need to do, to demonstrate to your mother that you have a good grasp of what is needed.

Next, I would outline your own plan on how to obtain the services you need in a way that allows you the most independence from needing the assistance of your mom or anyone else. Of course there will be gaps in this, but by doing this you can demonstrate where the greatest difficulties lie.

Next I would merge these two into one list and prioritize it. I might (because I am an artist and use color) color code those tasks and activities you can do on your own, those you need help with, and those that you find impossibly challenging. Then I would sit down with your mother and go over the list and pick those things you are comfortable receiving her help with. I would also set some boundaries, to let her know that you respect her wishes, and expect her to respect yours. For example, if you want your PCA's help with tasks that make your life less stressful right now, those become less negotiable than say tasks you can more readily take on sooner.


I can only say I understand your frustration to a degree. My therapist wants me to write down every single thing I do all day . . . on my way to creating a daily regime or schedule to create more regularity in my days. I found this to be so stressful I was "hiding" my day planner and skipping this entirely, finding especially on good days it interfered with my concentration and activity. I will, however, have to create and adapt my own technique for getting my life on a little more regular schedule if I am ever going to work toward my goal of regaining some feeling of productivity.