We have a good SSD forum here. Just go to the menu at the bottom of the page and click on the scrolling menu.

No, you can't apply for SSD while working. After being accepted they do have a 'back to work' program. i can't remember what it is. You can also work a minimum amount of hours and still get your check but by doing that I would think when it comes up for renewal it wouldn't look very good for you.

Good luck. You are not a failure for having to think about going this way. Life happens and it just got in your way. I am so much healthier since being on SSD. It has let me do so many things that I just didn't have time to do when I was working. But first I had to get healthy which I wasn't doing when I was working. I do remember how I felt when I got my award letter. Those words really hit me hard that the federal government found me permanently disabled. That's a hard kick in the chest.