I have a few questions for you two ladies to ask yourselves. Is he also a control freak? Does he have 'anger' problems? Does he sometimes stew in silence leaving you to wonder what YOU have done wrong? Does he whine and complain about how hard HIS life is? Do you feel like you're 'walking on eggshells' to keep the peace? Have you been arguing over these issues for most of your marriage and never getting any resolution? Does he tell you that you're 'too sensitive'?

If you answered 'yes' to most of these, you're married to the same man that I am divorcing after 25 years of marriage. I've come to realize that life is too short to live a miserable existence. I'm finally going to take care of myself for a change.

I'm not advocating divorce. In my situation, I feel it's my last chance to live a decent life. Only YOU know what's best for you.

Jodylee....My husband is very self centered, cares (to a fault) about what other people think of him. He is the first to volunteer for anything, without thinking for one minute if I may have something going on. He will get up at 5am to help someone, but I can't get him to finish a small project (which was actually my birthday present two years ago) The wood is still sitting in the garage!! He breaks promises to the kids all the time because someone else has ask for his help!!

Everyone thinks he is the most wonderful guy out there, and yes, he has major anger issues, has thrown things.....tell me all the time that I just don't love him anymore. Trys to guilt me into thinking HE does everything, and I just sit at home at all day!!! WHAT??

Did the eggshells for a long time.....now I just don't care!

Thank you to all that posted. I am able to do so much more since taking Baclofen, I was not too far from needing a wheelchair...at the rate I was going. Now I can walk up and down steps, I can walk into Walmart and actually look instead of getting my kids to run and go get me things!! I guess spastisity can be a major issue if it is not medicated. Now I am starting to lose the extra many pounds that I put on while on Predinesone for 8 months. DH is still a jerk, I may sit here and plot a plan of attack just in case he stays a jerk. He has always be a self centered jerk, but he was my jerk. If I am not happy in the spring, I am leaving once the kids are out of school for the summer. So, what can I do to prepare if this goes badly? I am a planner of sorts and I like to prepare a head of time.

He makes much more than me now and loves to remind me of it every day. I was laid off for almost two years and just found a parttime job bookkeeping that pays little. It used to be me that was the breadwinner, of course I never reminded him of that but I get sick of him "supporting" me. He carries my health insurance as well. DG your story makes me want to cry. When I think of how insensitive people can be, it makes me sick, I would love to put some of these jerks in our shoes for just one week. They wouldn't survive a week, in fact people like my hubby are total babies when they get a cold.

We may make it thru this because I feel better, but I will not forget how I have been treated because of my pain and illness. I look at things differently now with a wiser eye towards thinking of the future.

Hi poormommy . I can help you with the practical details so that you can plan for the future. I'm a planner too . PM me if you want. I'm kinda keeping myself hidden in case my h reads this site . Good luck, hon. I know how much this sucks.

(((((Jodylee)))))