Judy, my friend, my compadre. I hear you and sometimes feel the hopelessness you are feeling. I force myself out of it ASAP, because I hate feeling that way and would not hurt myself in any way, because of my beliefs and of the hurting of my DFamily.

So, what to do? Easy for anyone to say, right? Except for you. My solutions are easy, because my MS is a bit easier than yours, as I don't have chronic pain and I know that you do.

Please do see a pain management Doc to see if you can get rid of your constant pain. The bladder and skin problems may also be managageable by meds and therapy.

Ask your Doc to admit you for some rehab. The idea is is to keep you as strong and able as you can be to live in your own home, for as long as possible. Go to the ER (take a relative/advocate) and ask them for some solutions to your plight.

Don't give up, Judy, please. I love you and God loves you.

Ahhhhh......I knew I could count on your encouraging words and excellent advice. Obviously we're not all affected in the same way, but we each have our own particular difficulties to deal with which makes it easy to empathize with each other. First of all, I seem to have caught a cold from somewhere, , with the sneezing, blowing my nose every two minutes, etc......Haven't had one of these in years and I can't even blame it on anybody since no one has been here who was sick. This explains some of the extra achiness the past week or so.

Checked out the porphyria and have decided my symptoms don't match up with that.......thank goodness. The blisters on my legs are from the swelling from immobility. The lymph doesn't go back up like it should, backs up and has to go somewhere. It eventually comes through the tissue as blisters. The home nurses are coming back later today to evaluate them and decide if the Unna boots should be used again or something different.

Called my neuro and found out the clinical trial for the new drug that's supposed to help nerve pain will be starting in July and I'm at the top of the list. I've been to a pain management clinic and they have nothing different to offer than my neuro and pcp all ready tried. As you know, nerve pain is very difficult to treat and I believe that's what really wears me down. Every minute of every day there are "electric shocks" shooting around inside my body and it never stops. Like others here, the weather plays a huge part in the level of pain too. I pray this new drug.....a pill, I think.....works without making me feel like a zombie.

As for the depression/sadness, I've been on anti-depressants for years. Zoloft has been my "friend" for quite a few years now.....150 mg daily. Maybe it's time for an adjustment or change. Then the bladder issues....it's beyond being helped by medication. The next step will probably be an implanted catheter. It sounds awful and scary, but then it sure would be nice to not worry about Hoover Dam letting loose at an inopportune time. One thing at a time.

Thanks for letting me get rid of some of this frustration here and offering your encouragement, hugs and suggestions. It means more to me than you'll ever know. All my life I've been more of a loner, independent type, which is fine but now life has thrown me....and you....a curve and a few friends would be nice to have. You're all those friends! You've cheered up this "great-grandma" and reminded me that someone does care.

Nooooooooooooo, you're not old enough for that. But congrats!!

hope you are doing better.....sending good thoughts your way

Sally -- That was my reaction also......Noooooo......when first heard a great-grandchild was on the way! Even worse, my DS and DDIL were going to be grandparents at "39"!!! But Arianna Grace is now four months old and such a sweet, happy baby. Can't imagine our family without her now.

It's been a year and a half after my initial "evaluation" and DX and I don't really understand the impact of having this fo r along time, but it makes me nervous and kinda "scared" to read things like this. I feel ok righ tnow except being somewhat fatigued and damn memory ****. Otherwise fine....ride my bike alot and working.

I saw you mention "those lovely things" that was my initial worry when I came to this forum...having to wear those shortly after being DXed.... It kinda sucks to see someone her emention they do wear those, because I always wonder if that part of me will also "give out"

It sucks as you know and if I could be the one body that could take your and everyones pain away so you could live free....I would....no matter how painful it would be for me.

Dammit...I don't have "advice" all I can say is that I feel bad for you, so bad.... I really hope to see you posting that you're doing better...

You are such a sweety Eric, thanks..

Ahhh Eric....you made me get all teary eyed....in a good way. Your compassion is over-whelming. This is why NT is so valuable to "people like us", being able to relate and encourage others in the same boat. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please try not to stress out too much about what might happen in the future, easier said than done, but keep in mind I've had this monster for thirty-six years and it's just been the past four or so that things have gotten bad. It's really not worth using up your energy worrying about something that may never happen. Medicine was different "all those years ago", no DMD's, not even MRI's. As the saying goes, "It is what it is" and basically we just have to try and cope (sort of) with "it".

I pray that you will have a smooth ms journey. As for me, things are looking up. It's mostly the frustration of not being able to do the little things I used to take for granted. Also looking forward to the clinical trial beginning in July for something that may help with the nerve pain. Think that wears me down more than anything........now that I've had right from the get-go. And the bladder issues....having a permanent catheter implanted is sounding better all the time.

Again, thank you so much for your compassionate reply. You have such a sweet spirit.

Wonderful place, Neurotalk!