Thanks hun I just increased my dose of Topiramate on Wednesday (I ramp up each week until reaching a 'high' next Wednesday). Last evening at 5 pm (I finish work at 6 pm) I took my new dose, and at bedtime it was my 'double whammy' so to speak, so I slept like a kitten, then woke up this morning and in taking my A.M. dose, wowsers. I went through the motions today at work, and I MAY have got through half the contacts they expect us to make in 1 day.

I felt so down on myself for it. I went from finishing Q4 (quarter 4) last year (I work for a bank, for a bit of background/clarification) as 'exceptional' for my performance rating. While this was beyond flattering, as it's extremely rare for someone to obtaining a rating of 'exceptional', all I got out of achieving this was:

- good end of year bonus for Christmas
- burn out with an MS relapse (Optic Neuritis)
- a high expectation, going forward, that I'd maintain this 'exceptional' standard of performance

So yup. I dug my own proverbial career grave, since my manager (current) can tell me until she's blue in the face that she understands MS and how MS is, but she doesn't. She's proven this time and time again.

Rant! Grrrrrrrr!

Today was tough. Seeing 20 contacts instead of 40, like I'd normally see in a day, is frustrating to me because I do work myself hard. Even if I know it's best to relax when I need to and not overdo it. I set my own personal bar too high sometimes.

Coggy Foggy. I don't know if I was buzzed off prescription medication, or what was up today. I'm going to blame the medication for making me real slow earlier. I got a good night's sleep last night. I told DH that my brain wasn't responding to fingers, to hands, to legs, to mouth, etc. Everything was moving slow. Like I was wading through molasses. Or at times I felt like time was moving fast (in my mind) but in actuality movements were going very slow. I was over-focusing on something that in my mind I thought I was doing efficiently!

What a freaking mess!!! All I can do is just laugh, what else is left huh? Vacation Sunday, flying to Florida to go meet up with hubby, traveling up the East Coast together. Will be a nice trip so I'm looking forward to that, will be very nice and relaxing compared to all else I've been through as of late!