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Old 05-09-2012, 11:04 AM #1
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Default Cognitive Dysfunction

I recently read comments from a couple of folks with MS who are so impaired cognitively that they require full-time aides, notes taped everywhere, someone to manage their finances, etc.

My heart goes out to those people. From what I've read, that degree of cognitive dysfunction isn't common, but it surely is sometimes part of MS. I found myself thinking hard about my own cognitive issues.

Sometimes we call it "cog fog", and that's how it manifests in some of us. That "just-woke-up" feeling, disembodied, cobwebs on the brain, slow-motion. Pretty common, from what I understand.

I realize that I tend to overstate my cognitive issues. I process information more slowly. I can't think on my feet as I once could. I have trouble sometimes finishing a thought, calling up a word or name, focusing on what someone is saying.

I DON'T, however, forget appointments or to pay bills, get lost in the grocery store, ask the same question three times in five minutes, or live in the fog full-time.

I tend to say things such as "I'm brainless" or "My memory is shot" or "I'm such a zombie." No, I'm not. I don't think anyone but my kids or my closest friends even notices. I think I "exaggerate" out of frustration. I USED to be quick-thinking, the one who remembered everything, faster than the contestants on Jeopardy, the Vocabulary Lady.

My cognitive dysfunction is upsetting, but mild (in the scheme of things) I see that more clearly now. And I'm thankful for that!
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Old 05-09-2012, 12:50 PM #2
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I am in a wheelchair, my physical is way effected by MS, but my cognitive seems pretty good. (although Aging throws me a zinger once in awhile).

I hate when people on the phone ask me "Is there someone there who helps you I can talk to" when I do things. NO. The stocks are mine (all earning thank you, bought by earnings on other stocks), the money is in my name only (an inheritance) and I pay the bills and handle our money and taxes. "Can she fill out a form" a receptionist asked my husband over my head. I was good, I kept my mouth closed and didn't say "Honey, I'm smarter than you." I think sometimes people think I'm a great crip because I don't drool. People read a little something, think they are now an expert.
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Old 05-09-2012, 02:48 PM #3
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I have recently been very successful in grad school but still panic when I'm at a loss for words or say the wrong word when talking.

I'm 48 years old for Pete's sake, isn't any of this just normal aging? The thought of having cognitive difficulties in addition to mobility issues is horrible.
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Old 05-09-2012, 02:59 PM #4
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I have the cog-fog. Some days are worse than others. I have a hard time remembering what I did 2 hours ago. I wouldnt remember eating and get into a heated argument with my dh about it and he would have to take me to the kitchen and show me my dishes. I can still pay bills, but need reminding when they are due.

I have a notebook I write EVERYTHING in or else I would forget everything. Appointments, shopping, dh days off work, etc. I do repeat things several times when Im having a bad day. I forget my words constantly. If I cant remember what something is called I start to describe it and hope the other person can guess what Im talking about. I will be talking and stop mid sentence and just forget that I was talking. Ive done that infront of the neuro, and he doesnt seem to worry about it.

I told my dh that I now understand the frustration his father must feel being an 80yr old man after his brain tumor surgery. This disease just makes me feel old... walkers, canes, scooters, help me I cant get up buttons.... I get excited when I see a rollator on sale
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Old 05-09-2012, 03:37 PM #5
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I have had cognitive difficulties because of MS. But then again, I always was a little bit too smart for my own good.
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Old 05-09-2012, 03:58 PM #6
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I'm better at certain times of the day. First thing in the morning is always better than late afternoon. If I'm overly tired I have a hard time finding the words I want to use. Could be age (I'm 51)....could be MS.....could be both. If I forget to brush my teeth then I'll worry.
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Old 05-09-2012, 04:17 PM #7
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I have the fog...can't organize, process, or remember. also have verbal retrieval problems.
It's sad, because I was a "gifted" student. No more
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Old 05-12-2012, 03:00 PM #8
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Oh, my, thanks for posting this.

I'm still, as yet, not completely dx'd...at least by my neurologist. My PC has already said MS & is treating me as MS. Not sure how I feel about that; not sure that it matters, as I prefer to move forward & not back.

I've been on this derailed freightrain of a life for the last 2.5 years. First signs of something wrong were memory issues & speech problems; specifically, lucky me, not being able to say what I was thinking; losing vocabulary, speech pattern delays...ya know, that word is right on the tip of your tongue...and then it's completely gone? Going to a drive-thru & asking for ketchup (I thought) & having the girl look at me, like I was speaking a foreign language...so I repeated it...still same look. VERY Scary.

I always was indifferent to my math skills...losing them, like not being able to calculate simple addition & subtraction in my head is also very disconcerting. My family is used to me being able to handle all the finances, all the stress-inducing situations & most all of everyones "help me" times...both I & they are at a loss for my less than stellar brain fog issues. I'm used to being the one to find the answers...not be the one who needs the answers.

The physical problems are less of an issue for me. Don't get me wrong, they are major problems but somehow, less worrisome, if you get my drift.

My reason for posting this is this: my company (not necessarily my direct boss) has said that they can't really do anything for a medical condition, as long as I am continuing to try to get help or be tested; but, I wonder, if money issues prevent me from getting that dx (from the neurologist), can I be fired for issues beyond my control? It's like walking a tightrope sometimes.
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Old 05-12-2012, 05:24 PM #9
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It hurts to read of the struggles here, Laura, Dejibo, NewtoNet, and yet it's a comfort to me to read that others are like me, struggling along. It seems most of us were once pretty strong "thinkers", and now we feel diminished and have to put up with some people who are not sympathetic or helpful with that.
Laura, once I called on a student in a high school class I had in CA, long ago, long before dx, and said "hello" instead of her name. She thought it was sorta funny, but that was my "advanced" class, who were capable of some degree of toleration.
Today I am trying to go through papers, and even though they are only MY papers, not an employer's, still it's a struggle. I don't have a good filing system. I might buy a new desk if I lived in an area where such things were easily accessible. Unfortunately I can only buy either a metal or all natural wood desk, so my options are not good---impossible at Walmart, HomeDepot, Lowe's etc.. There is a store here in our small town which does carry all-wood furniture made by Amish. I so wish I could buy a desk from them, and a side table to the bed. Their furniture must be 3 or 4 times the cost of a desk at Home Depot. When we lived in Seattle, my husband could go get me a metal desk at a Boeing furniture sale, for maybe $50. I am so sensitive to ersatz wood that I cannot use a normal desk's ledge to put my keypad on...I must have wood that is 100% natural, not even coated. So my desk ledge, which is teak and nice, but coated with something, will not do, and I told you how I bought a piece of real wood at Home Depot, and the man said they had only 16 linear feet of real wood in the place, the rest was composite from China, and, he added, all toxic. I have to wear a carbon filter mask to go into Home Depot.

Supposedly this sensitivity is from Porphyria rather than MS. It is probable that through some odd genetic weirdness, I got both of these diseases and I don't apologize for being
weird enough to have two diseases which cause somewhat similar neuro symptoms. But I usually don't tell people I have both...too hard to explain. And you all know I have Polycythemia Vera too.
today the struggle is almost not worth doing, but I've put off the "papers" too long. So I have to do it even if cognition is impaired.
I told my son today that he keeps telling me I'm stupid (or something slightly less bad) but then does not help me with technical things (on the puter or printer) slow enough to allow me to learn. I think he got the message...he is trying harder these days.
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Old 05-12-2012, 09:05 PM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mariel View Post
I told my son today that he keeps telling me I'm stupid (or something slightly less bad) but then does not help me with technical things (on the puter or printer) slow enough to allow me to learn. I think he got the message...he is trying harder these days.
Mariel I'm glad to share my own experiences (I'm glad you're happy to read them - I blab and blab, often too much for my own good, or the good of those around me!).

I'm sorry to read that you're dealing with 2 conditions at once. It's one thing to deal with cruddy MS, but to deal with Polycythemia Vera (I am completely ignorant to this disease/syndrome - I'll have to educate myself) as well, that takes one tough and brave soul, from what little I have read from your post (sensitivities and such). Wow.

I do hope your son can slow down for you and begin to learn how to accommodate at your pace better. I think he'll learn with time what works best for the both of you by the sounds of things.
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