[SallyC]

I seem to be having a bit more depression lately and am wondering if I should up my Prozac doseage or change to a new AD? Don't ever want to be in the dark abyss again and feel like I'm slipping.

I hate being dependant on any drug.. Never had depression or heavy duty anxiety, before MS and really resent not being able to pull myself out of it, on my own. I tried and that did not work. So far, SSRIs have been my friend and literally saved my life, but each med I have been on has lost it's effectiveness a few years after starting.

I'm getting back to feeling worthless, lonely, unwanted, unneeded and fat..LOL. When my med is working, non of this carp bothers me, which is just fine with me. Some people don't like it, but they are young and haven't yet been through all the *life*, that I have.

I enjoy my new *content* and want to crawl right back into my little comfort cave. Have any of you had any experience with Prozac/Fluoxitine(sp)?

The only situation that has changed in my life, is my DD getting a divorce and her shutting me out. I miss our Mother/daughter talks, but she doesn't want to talk to me about it. Why? Either to save me the pain or to keep me (the contro freak), from taking over and running the show. She doesn't realize that I am no longer a control freak and am in the "I don't give a **** part of my life.

Lay it on me, what should I do??

[Blessings2You]

First, you should listen to yourself say that the "only" change is your daughter getting a divorce and shutting you out...oh, that's all? No biggie.

Then you should to just what you're doing, ask for input, sort it out, get a little information and then...

Go see your doc. I hope you have a good PCP and lay your cards on the table. I think you're doing the right thing by doing a Barney Fife on it: Nip it, nip it, nip it in the bud!!

[Mariel]

Sally, certainly agree with Blessings that your daughter's cutting you off is more than enough to trigger depression. A kind of depression that drugs may not help?
I have had experience with Prozac, the worst experience of all the years doctors tried to get me onto anti-depressants (all failed). Now listen to this, though: Prozac is supposed to be "safe" for people with Porphyria like me, one of the few AD's which are. But it is not safe for me! I was a ball of spasticity with sweat running off my hands and my teeth clenched for a few hours, until the pill wore off. Not a pretty picture.
I wish so much you and I an all of us who are sad and lonely could go somewhere and have some relaxed fun.
For me, the huge depressing worry is what I'm going to do with the fires burning north and south of me, if they come back here with the smoke which put me into a big crisis. No smoke now, but it's a long summer ahead, and no escape route in sight.

Sally I am with you in feeling very low. Prayers for you and me and all who are at this level. I think it's lots of us. The "world" is now falling apart, if you have not noticed, and that does NOT help, however much we may say we are ignoring it. I turned off my TV set nearly a month ago--no more conflicting managed news--but I still hear about the "world" on line and I know it's not all hype.

[Natalie8]

Ohhh Sally, I'm so sorry to hear that. I know that awful dark place you are talking about. I've been suffering from depression for 21 years now and on antidepressants for that long. Sometimes I worry about the long term effects on my body and other times I just to say "oh well, gotta have them."--bad genetics plus life events.

You are smart to nip it in the bud. Go to your GP and tell him/her what's going on. You've been with it so long, like me, that you know the warning signs. I discovered after the MS diagnosis that depression is far more common among MS-ers than any other autoimmune disorder. Blech.

I've been fighting it lately too. Don't think what I'm on is working anymore my doc said there is a new drug called Viibryd (I think that's the name). As soon as I recover from collapsed lung I'm on it! I'm hoping it will make things better.

And as everyone said, the issue with your daughter is a major life event--those kinds of outside stressors can sometimes tip you over--I'm not surprised the depression is rearing its ugly head. So don't beat yourself up! Take care of yourself, be nice to yourself by going to a doctor soon for reassessment. We dont want you slipping any further as you know the deeper the slide the longer it takes to get back out. Hope you feel better soon.

[Erika]

So sorry that you are going through a rough patch Sally. Sending you love and a tender cyber-hug.

I have no personal experience with ADs but discussing the matter with your PCP is probably a good idea. I have heard that sometimes combining two ADs, usually at a lower dose seems to work better than one alone, so that might be an option.

It might also help to speak with your DD and let her know that your 'give-a-damn' is busted with respect to the divorce details etc, but that she is dear to your heart and that you only wish to be a sounding board and a shoulder to lean on; should she need one.
We all need a mommy in our life and sometimes it is hard to admit that. For those who still have a real one, that gift is so worth taking advantage of...

Know that she loves you and is likely only trying to avoid more confrontation in her life, and may be trying to protect you from more stress as well. A good conversation opener might be to thank her for that consideration, and then let her know that you are there for her.

With love, Erika

[Snoopy]

Well, that truly sucks, Sally

I hate being dependant on any drug

I know <sigh> Always remember --- Better living through chemistry.

So far, SSRIs have been my friend and literally saved my life, but each med I have been on has lost it's effectiveness a few years after starting.

Losing their effectiveness can be common. Sometimes a higher dosage is needed or a new AD should be tried. Using a combination of two different ADs can sometimes be helpful.

Regardless --- It sounds like it's time to see your Doctor

As far as your daughter: Call her. Tell her you miss seeing/talking to her. Let her know you won't bring up or ask her about her pending divorce (if that is possible for you ).

[SallyC]

I feel a little better this morning. Sometimes talking it out with friends who care, is great medicine.. I will be talking to my PCP and I know he will help me, as he has in the past.

As far as DD, I have told her what you have all suggested, but she is stubborn (wonder where she gets that) and insists on getting through this without crying on my shoulder every day. I'm torn between not wanting to know what that (bad bad name inserted here) is doing and wanting to help her. I guess I am helping by not helping.

Thanks for all you comfort and suggestions. I love you.

[Kitty]

Sally, all you can do is let her know you're there if and when she needs to talk. I suspect she will eventually come to you.

Plus, it's hard to hear things you can do absolutely nothing to change or stop. It just adds anxiety and stress to your life. And I know you just want to help your daughter. That's normal and natural.

How many times do we actually do the same thing when we tell our kids we're doing fine when we really would love some help.....but we don't want to worry them. I'm guilty of that!

[ANNagain]

Sal Pal,

What if you talked to your daughter instead of the doctor? Might not need a new drug.
ANN

[Mariel]

Sadness--this day I felt sad all day. I finally realized this is all I am ever going to feel. I am not going to recover from this. I will "keep going" enough to make the bed, watch the rabbits in the yard, and take a walk down the street. But inside, permanent sadness. There is no pill I can take for this. So that's it.