[Lynn]

I don't know about anyone else, but I get so emotional these days it is downright shameful.

I cope super well with other people's problems, am super calm in the emotional emergencies and traumas of others - but as soon as I am confronted (in front of others) with my own limitations I seem to fall apart. It is driving me nuts - I want to take that teaspoon of cement, and harden up, but I just can't and I tear up and my eyes water for what seems like nothing. Maddening, embarrassing and I have no control!

I have just started the full dose of fampridine, and it seems I am getting lots of the listed side effects (I thought - mistakenly - that I would escape them all) and as my world was quietly spinning around me, words were jumping around my page, and I had chills, nausea, dizziness, confusion and shaking hands, my boss realised that I would probably traumatise my 16 and 17 year old students, and sent me home (she was actually being really caring to me and was concerned enough to offer to drive me home).

So, what did I do? Say thanks? No, my eyes filled up with tears. Seriously - how can I be expected to be taken seriously???? I hate getting emtional (crying - I certainly don't mind just being human....but that is too much) in front of people - but I had no control. I don't know if it was the meds - but I think it is the new me, because every time my professional capacity, or capability is questioned I have this desperate need to prove myself.....only I don't think I can fool people much longer.

Thanks for the rant. I am just whining I guess - and grieving. I suppose that is quite normal, but surely crying like a baby at the smallest things???? Humiliating at best.