This is not a "woe is me" thread, just something I need to vent to make me feel better I guess


It has been humid HOT humid HOT and humid here in NY for the past few days. I mean sweat fest and it has dragged me down fiercely physically and mentally as I haven't been able to muster much of this at all without feeling like a melted turd I wanted to take a ride on the MT bike, but there was no way, even in the evening it was too humid and I only got in a couple of miles. I've also been inside most of the day and I can't stand it. I know heat is hell for MS, but just last year I delt with it well and it didn't bother me as much as it is now, this year. I guess this is progression? I'll have to mention this to my doctor and see if I can do something more for it. This sucks, such a time waster MS is....feeling new stuff happening and trying to chase down a solution. This afternoon I went with my mom to the grocery store, went inside and told mom I'm going to try and do the scooter again.

So I got used to the controls on this one, but the steering sucked real bad, they need to oil the steering shaft on it and I mentioned it to them. It was so sticky that turning it, you had to quickly turn it back and fourth to keep it going straight. Kinda like a car that wants to wander right and you have to steer left to keep it straight. Christ, I think walking would of been easier.
Well I headed down through the store and after a few minutes I was sitting there rolling and realizing that "holy cow, I'm riding a store scooter" as in "I have Multiple Sclerosis a nerve wrecking disease that makes my young self have to ride a scooter to get around the store. I realized "I am one of them", a disabled person, one of those people I used to see on scooters in stores and using canes....I am one of them now and I can't believe it. It really set in today, boy and I felt pretty sniffly for a few seconds.

I got over it and told myself "Meh, whatever....just let's have a good day, it's no big deal" Further down the isle as I rolled, I noticed a lot of people simply do not move out of the way of me on a scooter! I was fully stopped while this woman is talking to another woman about Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream, lol. I thought they would move out of my way, but they didn't, so I had to ask them. What's with that? It happened twice with two different people. I also got into a game of "which way are you going" with some girl. We almost collided so I laughed a bit and said I'm going this way. She barely cracked a smile. So as I go I see this old lady bent over, getting lottery tickets out of vending machine. I told her I am coming through and she looks at me with a nice smile. I told her I am new to driving these things and she better watch out(Humor) she laughed and told me I was doing well with it and she'd probably be tipping stuff over if it were her. She also said "Hopefully you won't need it again till you're 80

Apparently she probably thought I had a temporary problem, broke leg or something...wart on the foot....something like that. Little did she know, I have a disease and scooters are going to be a lifelong friendship. That kinda hot home, because here I am a young dude in my 30's(look like 20's) no cane....nothing n me that says TERMINAL DISEASE, FULLY SCREWED, NEED ASSISTANCE!" and I thought "wow....people must think I am one lazy azz rollling on the scooter. That may be why I didn't get a smile from that other girl, or most anyone. Perhaps if I had a back brace, walker, oversized shoes and smashed eggs in my basket....they'd be lil more compassionate.

I don't blame them, all they see is a healthy, young dude in a scooter.

After getting my stuff I headed to the "handicapp" accessible checkout , yoo know....the one with the giant handicap sign right below the checkout number. The girl working at that station was completely hot and I got a fast onset of nervousness that she too would not even stare me in the eye like I am some freak. She asked me how are you(like you would a child She asked me if I have a rewards card, I said yepp, but not the card itself, I'm in the system" she asked me to type in my phone number(If I am able) LMAO! Ok....did I all of a sudden start looking disabled? Well I got that done then she asked if I wanted all of the stuff in one bag, I said yes. Must be she was thinking it would be easier to carry just one bag? Well she was right I think. Ok now she asked me if I need help to get it out to the car....This is when I flagged my mom standing there and told the girl I'm all set.

So in conclusion, that was my second adventure in store scooter driving lessons. It was just so weird at how different things are when in that position. I was literally being looked down at and felt like a total stranger like I shouldn't be driving that thing.

I dunno....just weird, but I'll get used to it. I just really hope and regret if I ever get a dirty look or someone asking me what exactly is wrong with me, in a smart azz fashion.

Guess I realized just how hidden the MS Monster really is..... I may just stick a cane in the basket next time....so people will think..."oh...he has a problem"

Ok....vent over </done>