Hi everyone! I'm having a bad morning anf just really need to get this out. I have SPMS....been living with MS for 5 years. My fince lives with me, we've benn together for nearly eight years. Believe me, I am a lucky girl, I know I am. I know Dennis loves me and he takes such good care of me and is so supportive of me. Right now I'm in the midst of quite a flare, I have been on a rather steady decline, but something triggered things to just go haywire. Anyway, trying to make this shorter.....bladder problems is a constant sx with me. However, I have been waking every morning just having soaked the bed in pee for the last few days. I don't even feel I need to go. I wear adult diapers to bed......but the way my health has been lately, I'm just soaking right through those suckers too. Anyway, every morning Dennis sees me wake up, embarrassed and in tears. I tell him to be careful getting out of bed and stay close to his side because I soaked the bed again. He just grabs me and tells me he loves me. I know he does.....but how long can a 28 year old man be happy this way? He is a personal trainer at a gym for pete's sake! A gym filled with beautiful people! I mean, for fun these people just take off running.....and there isn't even an icecream truck in sight!
He loves me, I know this, and he's my world. I just worry about what the future holds I try not to, but this is just one of those days........Thanks everyone for listening!~~~Jess

((((jess))))

i hear ya...truley i do. my hubby and own a gym. both of us have been personal trainers for years. he is an x pro body builder. ( i did shows...but never went pro)

the last few years have been a major change for me. i'm a young grandma..only *gulp* 43 and grandmonkey is 5. he was abandoned to us before he turned 3. we had him from new born until he was 8 months also.

since we have him, i have not been able to work. big lifestyle change. this contributed to my back condition progressing. thus gaining some weight. i was a size 1...now a tight 8. big change. not being able to do the physical things i always did without paying a price.

yep...hubby is at the gym all the time. around the perfect bodies. but ya know...if they were gonna leave...it would have been at the first change. i struggle with this. i get my fears.

but ya know jess....you have a man who loves you. like my great grandma used to say...we all end up looking like shriveld apple head dolls. find the man who loves you from the inside.

oh...and the ice cream truck...believe me...they find one. or a smoothy place.

Oh boy do I understand where you are coming from.

When I get insecure and project that onto my hubby he says that he loves me and he will never leave me. But the most impotant thing he says is not to tell him or assume who he will be attracted to or why he loves me and whether that will go away. They love us for reasons known to them. Maybe he is truly your soul mate and it does not matter what happenes to you and his love won't change.

So I try not to project my lack of confidence based on what is happening to me onto his love. I just accept that he loves me for me. So let him love you for any and all reasons and in any way he wants too.

Not trying to tell you that our situations are the same but just my experience.

and just try to trust in love.

Thank You ladies....I really am trying to just enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow! I guess I'm just in a funk! heehee

I understand the Funk..Been there done that many times. I wondered why my DH stayed, after my MS took over my life and his, but he did. I guess he loved me.

Looking back, I think that making him a part of it and not hiding my feelings. He was proud of my moving forward and maintaining as much independence as I could and YET, still needing him to be there beside me. Our love grew deeper and we became each other's best friend.

He is, then, the one who became Ill and died in Jan. 2004. I miss him terribly, but am blessed to have had his love, support and companionship for 35yrs.

I am so sorry for the funky flare you are in now, Jessie and I hope you feel better soon. Worrying about what the future holds for you and your love is wasted time that you could spend being happy and enjoying what you have.....now!!

Love and Hugs,

JessieSue,

I know it must be so embarrassing for you and it really wouldn't help with ones self estemme (I can't seem to spell ). But, you don't have any control.....I know that doesn't really help how it makes you feel.

Have you been checked recently for a UTI or talked to your doctor about meds to help control it?

Your boyfriend sounds like a wonderful and understanding person.

Hang in there

your right we are lucky,a very supportive and understanding boyfriend. He was there for my dx. and on the way home it was almost like he was reading my mind, he just looked at me and said " I just want you to know april, Im not going anywere." and he has completely lived up to his word. there are times I think because of this desease our relationship has become much stonger than ever before. I do understand those days insecurity. thank god they dont last for long. I hope your day gets better.

I wish I could say something clever JS to make you feel better, but you know Dennis loves you for who YOU ARE. No one is perfect, so just focus on getting yourself outta that flare and feeling better... I do understand and I'm sending hugs to ya.

take care of yourself.....

{{{{{JessieSue}}}}}

Thank you so much everyone! I always feel bad when I complain or if I am in a negative mood.....but I know you all understand, and the comfort you all give me is priceless! Hey....this could be one of those commercials....
Jessica's computer---$1300
Jessica's computer desk---$150
The support she gets on NeuroTalk---Priceless!
LMAO!!!

<-----getting your butt squeezed by friends