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Old 06-22-2013, 10:21 PM #1
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Default What else is MS going to take?!?!

Now its taking more of my walking. Im pretty much walker full time except for stores which is the motor scooters, and now its my speech. I sound like Im drunk or severly mentally impaired. My handwriting is already shot. I regressed to writing like a 1st or 2nd grader. My DH, oldest DD and youngest DD and I have been talking the past few days and I just really feel like Ive failed my family. Ive been a real let down.Ive even let down the grand babies. There's no way I can play with them now. MS has even taken that from me, and THEM!! Anything else dag gum it, cuz Im losing my mind here!! My youngest DD is begging me to call my neuro, but for what?? All he'll want is another MRI, and for what?? Oh, you have active lesions, or ,oh, you have no active lesions. He's always pushing MRIs, Im sick of them. 21yrs of MRIs and I can lite up the city of Chicago at Christmas time, no problem! Oh my, Ive become the person I said Id never become, the complainer. Oh please forgive me. Im just having trouble digesting all this crap lately. It seems to be hitting me all at once. Lately, I think maybe Ive made that mad leap from RRMS to SPMS. Scares me a bit.
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Dx RRMS April 1992
Yearly flares from 92 to 11
MS induced seizures 2002
Flare Oct 2011
Flare Dec 2011
Left disabled after 2 previous flares
Betaseron '02, Copaxone '12, Tecfidera '13
(allergic reaction to all)
No longer taking any MS therapy meds
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Old 06-23-2013, 01:40 AM #2
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I wish I had the answers and a way to relieve the pain you are in. I hear you about the MRI's, what answers and solutions truly lie in the 'tube', when the meds out there aren't effective for you?

It's ok to vent and complain, in my opinion. This illness is not fun to have, whatsoever.

Hang in there, just know this NT group is a mouse-click away!
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Old 06-23-2013, 10:43 AM #3
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Could you be having an exacerbation? Call the Neuro and ask
if you should have IV steroids. It sometimes works to shorten
the attack and, with some PT, get you back to feeling better.

I'm so sorry. This hateful disease..
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Old 06-23-2013, 12:27 PM #4
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you are entitled to have a meltdown because of all this.
you are probably grieving all these losses. it's a normal reaction.

but, don't give in or give up. please call your dr and report these symptoms.

use the strength of your friends and family to help.
and, of course, we're here too.
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trying to be New Skinny Butt
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You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
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"DESIDERATA" by Max Ehrmann
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