I am suffering from a self-inflicted wound. Not literally, of course, but let me explain.

I’ve been on Prozac for quite a few years now. It had worked well but I was going through a rough patch around two years ago, and I sought help from a psychiatrist about adjusting my medications. She added Bupropion to my daily routine. I now only see her three or four times a year for a quick 20 minute appointment.

The last time I saw her, she encouraged me to consider discontinuing the Bupropion, which I did last May. As it turns out I shouldn’t have.

So here I sit crying my eyes out, over what? Nothing. Of course it doesn’t feel like nothing. Depression is insidious. Last Saturday my hubby and I had a squabble. I started by bringing up an old disagreement upon which he and I have never agreed.

In other words, I picked a fight with him. It lasted all of about five minutes, and no voices were raised, but it left me with hurt feelings. As the day went on my hurt feelings multiplied, leaving me a sniveling mess by the end of the day. I’ve been that way since last Saturday.

Like I said before, Depression is so insidious. It literally distorts your view of reality. I am usually a very up-beat person, but right now I am a real buzz kill. Monday morning I started taking Bupropion again. In hindsight it is clear that I need it. Now I have to wait a couple of weeks for it to start working again.

Then I started thinking of how lucky I am to know what to do when I get this way. I remembered how awful it was to live this way before I found antidepressants. The worst part back then was not knowing that life can look so much brighter.

So I decided to write about this experience here. Over the years I have read posts by others on NeuroTalk in which they wonder if an antidepressant might help them. I’m here to tell you that it is worth a try. It can make a big difference.

So here I’ll sit in a puddle of my own tears waiting for the Bupropion to kick in. Thank God for Prozac and Bupropion. Being depressed really stinks!

Marion,

Good that you recognize what is happening to you.

Medline Plus (NIMD) says it could take up to 4 weeks or more to get to optimal levels so just hold on.

ANN

Oh boy, do I understand Marion!!! Right here with you..

I'm so sorry you are in that dark place! I hope that you start seeing improvements soon. And, we are always here for you while you wait for the Buproprion to kick in. Oh wait, we'll always be here for you regardless but we'll also be here to help you while you're in the dark place.

Sorry that you are going through a rough patch. Can you get out a bit or maybe have a friend come in for some company. Sometimes a bit of a change in the routine will at least temporarily give some improvement.

In my thoughts and prayers .

With love, Erika

Thanks so much for the feedback. It means more than you know.

Erika, you are so right. Friendships are very important in a person’s life. They tend to stabilize your frame of mind, and draw your attention away from what is bothering you. I think that online friends are wonderful, even better than real-life friends in some ways. But there is no substitute for a friend with whom you can just hang out. I'm not sure if I remember how to do that.

Unfortunately I don’t really have any of that kind of friend anymore. I don’t have much family, so that doesn’t help. Over the years I have become reclusive. Other than my husband, I really never see or talk to anyone other than doctors or their staff. I gave up answering the phone years ago because it is never for me, and it is better for my husband’s calls for them to leave a message. So when I get down in the dumps, and disappear down my own private little rabbit hole, there’s nothing there to help me dig myself out.

I guess that has to stop.

It isn’t that I don’t like people. It is just that they require so much energy. Plus I’m not really used to being with people any more. I’ve done a good job of learning how to keep busy, and for the most part I am able to keep myself happy.

Well, at least today I’ve done one thing that is a step in the right direction. I signed up for an art class that starts next month.

Sigh. Poor me. It’ll sure be nice when I feel better!

Thank you for sharing your story. While I totally commend your psychiatrist for attempting to see if you could tolerate a medication reduction I'm glad you realized the need to restart the Wellbutrin before you suffer any longer. Hang in there.

Glad you got back on the medication. I take some too, and after several months of adjustments my out look is better too. I hate depression, not matter how you come to get it, it is awful. It does distort our views. Thank you for your post. It give a lot of hope to others here who may be in the same battle. ginnie

Thanks for posting that It always helps to hear others situations. Not that I am glad others are going through the same...Cuz I would wish that on NOBODY!! I am just glad to know I am not alone in my feelings and my mind. Being severely injured and never being able to work again in my 30's was bad. But I would have to say Psychological effects are without question the WORST!!! I am actually going to take your Supp. drug name to my Doc next week. I think I have tried Every Anti depressant....I am just not well or tolerant of any of them, and usually end up in an even darker place. .

Thank God for this site. I cannot tell you, (though I am sure you know well)...just how much I sit and consider what my (our) futures really look with all the Physical pain and mental issues because of them.
Dealing with these conditions, all you do is cut yourself off from everyone Aside from the pain, I simply have no patience for people and the nonsense, that used to be normal in our lives ad didn't bother us.
I don't know about everyone here, but with RSD, which can tend to be an invisible illness often. I lose my mind, even though people mean well...But whenever I do get around people. All they do is ask "how I am feeling", and tell me how good I look and that I look like nothing is wrong. In my head, I get offended by those comments, as there is a constant battle going on within my body and it makes me feel like...I guess I don't look sick enough for You...LOL...
Best Of Luck with the new med...Hope it gets you Balanced again...Blessings