[jnewk]

hi folks

well, come to find out, I've been having seizures ... had have a few in the years past but dr and I thought it was cardiac related, like syncope, well I had a good one the other night and blacked out and face planted on the wall/door and came to in a puddle of various fluids....extremely nauseous and weak, blurry vision and somewhat fuzzy thinking. Could've gotten a mild concussion. Dr did not do cat scan but did rx for me Keppra, an anti seizure med. and then she called the dmv. its another loss. a big loss. most of you don't know my entire story but the last 13 yrs have been extreme in that every single year something big and traumatic happens...i.e, my son was killed, my sister and her husband also in another accident. I've had cancer, open heart surgery, bla bla. lost my house in the mortgage crisis, lost my 12 year marriage, pretty much everything. i'm in an apt in the middle of vegas (I grew up and lived my life in Los Angeles) but here I am in vegas, in a dumpy little apt on social security. I can't work. and now I can't drive. Most of my family is dead. I have cousins who live on other side of country, we chat frequently but they are far away. My life is just getting more and more limited because of my health and now my freedom as well. My friends (all of whom live either in California or east coast) have been supportive over these years, but they are getting worn out. And they are getting on with their lives. My friends are welcoming grandchildren, my son's friends are getting married and having children. My peers are enjoying their careers, relationships and life. I know I sound like I am having a fat pity party but frankly, this new development with seizures and loss of freedom is just another big blow. And I am alone basically. without resources. and of course, my social security is just over the "limit" for extra help in any expenses. so I am just ****** off and afraid and depressed and completely deflated. I have no more ideas.

thanks for listening
janet