Erika, it's good your home and the surgery is past.

I miss the friends I had when I was younger. I have no one "in person" now, only on-line.
On-line is really good, though, for a lonely person. I told you I had to drop my church because of toxicities in it. This is the third time. No one has cared to look me up any time this has happened (dropping out because of toxicities in the environment). Someone will bring me a poinsettia for Christmas "because we thought you were one of the people who need it"). I am going to tell them don't come this year. I need a friend who is here more than at Christmas. But I'm never going to have one again.
Obviously I am depressed. Yesterday I felt well, quite up, did baby sitting until too late in the evening, but I was in bed by 11:30. However, I never slept because my skin itched from Polycythemia Vera and nothing helped it. Nothing helped at all. So today, depressed and exhausted all day.
My life is now a sine-wave, I've been noticing it more and more. I try to keep a level life, never overdoing, but no, I have an up day followed by a down day. And the down is really down.
I went out in the car and looked at beautiful Christmas lights today, and remembered when that was something Irv and I did. Very lovely, even if I can't do it myself.

((((((Mariel))))))

OK, so there are how many people in the US who have MS, like 350,000? And how many millionaires in the US? You mean we really had far better odds of being millionaires?

Really?

Maybe I'll have a better attitude tomorrow...

Some millionaires are more crippled than any person with MS, because their disease affects the mind, not just the brain and nervous system.
I saw a news clip recently that even put a name to it..."Affluenza."

I sure hope that it isn't contagious .

With love, Erika

Ouch!
My hand joints have flared up again and are so stiff, swollen and sore, that the fingers can't be bent or straightened all the way. I'm typing with the two finger tips on each hand that aren't screaming.

I'm just belly aching (literally as well), because I think that I know what caused it...my own stupidity .

My friend brought me a home made butter tart as a treat last night, and I ate it. It was absolutely delicious, but for one who avoids sugar and doesn't eat wheat because they inflame my digestive system, it was the height of stupidity to indulge. Apparently those things also inflame my hand joints now too.

So now I'm paying the price.
Lesson learned. NO more Christmas treats!

Passing the cheese...

With love, Erika

Erika..nooooo sweets for Christmas? You poor thing, with your hands
hurting and everything hurting and no treats to soothe you? Ugh!!!
Maybe if you started out slowly, with just a little sweet and to see
how it goes?

I'm so sorry for your pain and hope and pray that you feel
better soon.

That "Affluenza" thing is bull. It's some made up piece of garbage that was used by a psychiatrist that was hired as an "expert" witness by the family of an extremely wealthy, spoiled teenager who killed four people in a drunk driving "accident".

They claimed that he wasn't responsible for his actions because he was wealthy, his parents had never taught him boundaries, and he shouldn't have to serve time for killing four people. So he's doing 10yrs of probation, and some court ordered counseling. This is after the same kid didn't get any punishment at all for being found a year before drinking, driving, and having a naked 14yr old in the car with him. (he was 15 or 16 at the time)

They should have just put that kid in jail and let him stew for awhile. No contact with his money or alcohol.

Erika,
Sounds like your body's being "Scrooge"…hope you feel better soon

Erika, those of us who have "managed" illness with diet have put ourselves in a bind, perhaps? If we get off the diet, we suffer. That's what happened to me when I would get off the Swank diet by eating red meat--I would lose my balance, almost fall over to the right side--it is actually funny thinking how that would happen. The last time it happened I assumed it was now permanent, a progression, but it is completely gone now, the falling over to the right. No red meat, of course.
But I have other dietary restrictions and I pay heavily if I get off of them. I loved that movie where the woman goes to Heaven and she is asked what she'd like to do first, and she said, "eat a bowl of spaghetti without feeling guilty".
Fortunately for me, I have no problem with wheat that I know of, or gluten, so at least I don't have to have THAT restriction. Cake is actually good for me in small amounts, because with Porphyria one has to have a certain amount of carbs, but of course too much cake would upset the Swank too, if it was yummy cake with fatty icing. Mmm, I love fatty icing.
I go to the Blue Nile jewelry site and look at the beautiful rings which I must not afford, or I won't be able to buy something I really need, or Christmas presents. So, that's the same thing, drooling over stuff I can't have.
I'm sorry you had to pay a big price for that indulgence, Erika.

Whine...whine...whine...I have lots of that, but am fresh out of cheese.

It's been weird. The Modafinil has me feeling "perky", but the body is still doing the inflammation, spasm, pain thing

Most of the hand joints have improved since yesterday, and I can at least bend and straighten them better, but the guts are not liking the ibuprofen I've been taking to decrease the inflammation in them. I barely ate a thing yesterday. Just a bit of apple sauce and some vegetable soup.

Now along with the thumb joint on my left hand, the baby finger on the right is also subluxating. I can't put pressure on either one, without them bending in a direction that they're not supposed to go in. The thumb doesn't hurt too much because it is pretty much numb, but that baby finger still has all the feeling in it and Wow, can such a little joint hurt a lot.

I've learned to avoid using the thumb, but I keep getting a painful reminder from the baby finger because it presses down on the computer desk as my hand moves the computer mouse or when the handle of my tea mug pushes on it when I lift the mug. I put a thick bandage on it this morning to help me remember.

Then yesterday afternoon as I went to get up from my chair, I pushed down on the arm rests to help my body stand and the baby finger screamed. Not thinking, I let go of the arm rest, stumbled and caught myself from falling by slamming the same hand onto the coffee table. My left shin connected with the coffee table and then I heard it, more than felt it. But I've been feeling it ever since. My right shoulder joint had joined the subluxation conspiracy.

I've had that one operated on to repair a dislocation/fracture due to a fall many years ago, and it does subluxate from time to time, but I sure didn't need it to be doing that now. That's the side I usually hold my cane on, so between the joints of the thumb, baby finger and shoulder, I've been reduced to palm & knuckle walking on the walls, tables and counters because my left shin has a painful goose egg swelling on it from hitting the coffee table.

At this rate, I'll be going in to my PCP's office on Thursday carrying a bag of joints and appendages that have fallen off .
I'm starting to feel like that guy in the Monty Python movie, who in the end is only a torso with a talking head, that continues to proclaim "It's only a flesh wound!"
Man I love that movie!

Sing it with me now, "All I want for Christmas is"...a full-on hockey goalie uniform; complete with the helmet, face mask, shoulder, back and chest guards, knee and shin guards, big padded gloves and padded pants!

Passing the cheese...

With love, Erika