Ok, I'm Biotching a bit. I'm really really sick of living like this, Ya know? It just isn't me, anymore. I used to be such a fun person...Laughing, loving, playing and even working.

Now I just exist. No Hubby, no playmates, can't drive, no place to go..nothing to do. I get up, after 2 or 3 tries, go to the pot, let my dog out, feed the dog, feed my face, turn on my PC, come here and my day begins.... it progresses much in the same way and then to bed.

Even though I like being alone, most of the time and I enjoy the safety and solitude of my Home, I am lonesome, bored and in a funk. It's my own fault. I could get off my lazy butt, get it together and do something about it.

I really don't know what I want out of life anymore! What else can I do? My family is great and always there for me, whenever I need them and I for them. I have two Friends. One has been a friend since we were in the third grade together and she calls and e-mails and drops in once in awhile....

And the other friend, who I met through an MS support group in 1991. We used to talk and laugh all the time, but since I don't go out anymore, we seldom talk. See, my fault. I'm not blaming anyone else for my funk...I've made my bed, but out of necessity not choice.

You all seem to be so active and still having fun, even though some of you are worse off than I am, physically. I'm such a lazy butt!

I was on Paxil and quite content to live in my little, non worry, world, but the damn stuff stopped working, after 6 years. My GP changed me to Prozac and it just 't isn't working as well as Paxil did. He started me on 20mg and I was all the way up to 60mg Paxil, so maybe I will ask him to increase my doseage a bit.

Well, I guess this is the end of my pity party. Thanks for listening.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Sal. Even if you are a two-bit, lazy, no-good, do-nothing, I still like ya'!

Seriously, do talk to the doc about the ADs. Zoloft just plain up and quit on me one day after about 8 years. I don't know why and no one else seems to know. I switched to Paxil 4 yrs. ago and will take your note as a flag to watch for my own, next decline.

I think this junk puts a lot of valleys in lives that are otherwise rather smooth and controlled. I hate the not knowing what will be the next adventure.

Have you gone people watching lately? Now that the weather is a little more tolerable, maybe you could become one of those coffee shop fixtures who enjoys some kind of eccentric royalty at the retail level. I met Jeff Daniels when we were both doing that at the same little sidewalk cafe. You have the vim, if not the vigor, get out there and yell at a few little kids just for fun!

Sorry Sally! i totally know how you feel.
I feel the same a lot of the time too.

I have a wedding to attend on Sunday so
at least I'll be getting out.

I just hope all the guests don't whisper
behind my back & pity me.
Everyone knows I have MS but no one has seen
me since I've started to use a WC.

Ya know how it is when people haven't a
clue to what living with MS really is about?
Anyway, I'm glad I'm going even tho I'll pay
for it on Monday with major fatigue.

I hope that you plan a Memorial Day
get together & enjoy yourself. You'll feel better.

take care,

Vlys

Nah! It would be easier and more fun to crash someone else's get together!

Hello lovely Sally,
If I remember correctly, you went through something similar earlier in the year. I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Are you going to be seeing your lovely daughter and grandchildren this weekend at all? I wish there was something I could do to cheer you up. Just coming on to this board and seeing your lovely smile makes me smile. Have you ever discussed trying something like Celexa or Lexapro with your Dr.? Perhaps one of them would give you better results. I will keep you in my thoughts. You are such a thoughtful lady, and always are so concerned about everyone else's welfare. Perhaps it is just the holiday weekend blues sneaking up on you.

In either case, I hope you get to feeling back to your chipper self soon.

All the best,
Chris

Thanks friends, i'm OK. It going to be a loooong weekend and I will call the Doc on Tuesday. My Family's young, so they'll be out doing young people things. I could join in but I don't think I'm up to it, this time.

Chris, you're right, I was having AD problems last year. I wish I didn't need them but I do. I'm also having some nagging back pain. So all this together has me in a bit of a funk.

Thanks all for your well wishes. I'll do my best to get myself out of this. I think I can, I think I can...I know I can.

Sally- what do you do for fun? Ever think about trying to pick up a new hobby? I picked up two just in the last couple of years, and now I finally have something to do when I'm really bored. Sounds like you're in a rut - I know you'll find a way out.

That's true, Sal! Sven and Ernst have done a world of good for Greta.

Hey! Sorry that you are feeling so down. It seems to come with the
territory...unfortunately. I actually asked our support group co leader at
our last meeting (she was calling for ideas for future meetings) if there
was a resource locally to discuss depression with us.

I went thru a particularly bad patch a while ago and could find no one
who specialized in people with disabilities or chronic illness. Even the MS
Society could find not a single one in the area. My Neuro has little interest in the "day to day" issues, and I just rode out the funk by myself. Depression runs in my family, let alone MS, and I know the next bout is inevitable, just would rather not face it without some support.

Better weather and a change in meds may be just the thing. It seems
your Doc is at least more interested in the situation and willing to help.
In the mean time, we are thinking of you!

A lot of good ideas here. I don't know where you are in the progression of your MS, since I haven't seen you in real time and space. I know where I am, and I know that as I read through the ideas -- good ones, every one -- I felt the physical fatigue and weakness pressing on me like a lead weight. Every bit of available energy I have is expended in daily life. And a lot of dailyness, I can no longer do. Like dressing myself, preparing my food, driving a car, getting in and out of the shower, folding clothes from the dryer. Stuff like that. I'm typing this now one-handed, and it's about tapping me out.

Physical fatigue is deadly. Just being conscious is a drain. None of the fatigue drugs have helped me, though it's worth it to try them since MS is so individual. I remember you talking about a lift to get you outside, and I think you ought to push for that. Just having the freedom to get out improved my outlook 100%. Hang in. Just try to take each day as it comes, and deal with it as it happens.

Chris