Empathy Man.

I'm The Moose and this is Sidekick Boy...

These women have been beating you down pretty well.

What's on your mind? Want to sit and talk for awhile?

(They duct taped your willy!!!??? DEAR GOD, man! We have more in common than I thought).

Moose!!!!!!!! You're back!!!

We've missed you so much - hope everything is good with you! Welcome back!!

*Empathy Man staggers in the front door, wild-eyed, and clutching his jaw*

"Have a nice time at the dentist?"

(mumble, mumble - gurgle, sputter...)

"I made your favorite dinner!"

(too bad ya can't EAT any of it... watch my sincere apology... )

"Sit in this nice comfy arm chair, prop up your feet on this footstool, and rest a bit."

*Evil-Kay slips out, and returns, armed with a vial of rattlesnake venom*

"This will make your lower leg swell up a bit, but don't worry, it's not fatal."

Kay injects venom above right ankle...

"It doesn't hurt, just makes the skin feel tight, and a bit stiff."

*clicketty click, snicketty - snack*

(Suddenly, we hear the ominous sound of steel bands clamping down on EM's wrists and ankles, in order to hold him firmly in place during the administration of our next invisible pseudo-symptom.)

Empathy Man looks left, and sees an IRONING BOARD, laden with TWO steaming-hot irons...

What on EARTH is this dastardly woman plotting now?

2k...throwing a rusty 50lb bale that's been hanging on the barn wall for... oh say 35 years.

GIRL, I don't even wanna know what that is for!





Hey there Moose! Good to see you visiting today!

oh yes, you do!

Seems that some of us have some pent up aggression that we need to get rid of!!!

Oh, Empathy Man. . . can you please come here for a minute?

***EM peeks around the corner - unsure of his safety with this group of women***

Kay won't hurt you - I promise......***I'll hold him down Kay while you "iron" the bottom of his feet***

EMPATHY MAN is BAAAAAAACK!

Man, he must've been buried deep; haven't seen him in a loooong while.

I smell Twiffy's hand in this.

Yes, EM now has Twiffy's awful Cold, so we should do something nice for him......Like, put his jammies in the freezer..

lol, proof I have MS, right there!

I read this and was totally AMAZED that you knew WHICH part of EM's anatomy which were destined to next receive my attentions, via the steaming hot irons...

I thought, either Kitty is a MIND-reader, or burning feet are also on YOUR list of sx.

then, I remembered... I PM'd ya, whining about my burning feet this morning!



hey, Kay has an idea! (starts channeling the Grinch). An awful idea. Kay's got a wonderful, awful idea....

let's cause Empathy Man to FORGET stuff next, eh?

lemme think... he can lose his car keys!

and have to call AAA, and be all embarrassed when they slim-jimmy his car.

and forget his kid's names for a moment!

and hurt their feelings, and confuse them...

and lose some really important FILES at work!

and have his boss YELL at him, and threaten to FIRE him!

and he can lose his glasses, and search his ENTIRE house for 'em, for an HOUR...

and then turn BRIGHT RED when some smart **** points out that his glasses are sitting RIGHT on top of his HEAD, and laugh and laugh at him!

sometimes abject humiliation can be worse than outright torment, eh?

yeah, I feel really bad about that one...

honestly, I'm not like that at all... I'm a real pacifist, and a kind person... I don't know what came over me................



on the other hand, it's a sick kinda fun to apply duct tape to delicate areas of Mr. Empathy Man (like a Voodoo Doll...) while recalling the burning of parasthesias, and the pain of bladder infections...