Saying my day has been horrible is an understatement. I made plane reservations for Sunday morning. I know, I was going to stay till I got all my bills for the month, but I can't take it anymore.

My head is pounding, my eyes hurt I had to lie to him and tell him I just needed time alone to figure out why I am unhappy with myself. I'm unhappy because he is telling me what I think or should be thinking. When I tell him what I really do think, he says no, that's not the truth. I'm the liar.

Geez Louise, the hoops that man has me going through just to justify his own thoughts. I realize his health is even more precarious then mine (RSD 20+yrs), but what is this girl to do. He wants me to take the cell phone [on his family plan] with me as proof it's not over. I'm so mad, I'm considering tossing it at him as I get out of the car at the airport. He insists on staying to take me to the airport, instead of leaving for NC before I leave. He says so I don't take his stuff, or some such crap.

He was packing for NC, so I started going through my stuff. That upset him more. I hate to see a grown crippled man cry. So I agreed that I would work on myself and not give up on "us". Did I mention he bought me subway yesterday. He thought we had gotten so close because of it and me not provoking him. A token gesture does not prove continued actions. Does it.

I'm at my wits end. I thinking of leaving most of my stuff here, instead of schleping boxes to the post office.

If you stuck with me, again. I thank you again.