My wife when she was still here and now my son they just do not get it!!!

Since I have been hit with my friends MS, CANCER & HEART problems what I am capable of doing to help here in the home is very limited and like many of us our funds are tight. You go from being very productive with working and bringing home a pay check which was 40% greater than your disability check. You were also capable os sharing the household duties and such to being able to do very little.

For me I have become very protect of the few things that I am still able to do. Which are cooking, cleaning but not much at a time and the laundry. I no longer work as I can not find anything that is legit to do from home so when I am not doing any of the above 3 I live on my computer.

Now the family tells me that you have spent 40 years raising a family and taking care of 5 people and it is now time for you to retire and do what you want. Well I can not do what I want. I am so limited by my damn MS that I have very few options and they do not include playing golf.

What has brought this about is that we need to move to a single story home and if possible a less expensive place. Well we found one it is a little small but it can work but the one draw back for me is that the laundry facilities are outside in the carport storage area and there is now way that I can get there. So if we move to this house I lose one of the 3 things that I can do to be of help and value around the house. Now my son does not care about where that laundry room is and he thinks that it should not be that big of a deal for me either. He says just find something else to do boy I wish I could.

I am sorry that this is so long but it just so hit home as to my limitations.

Mike

Hi *ike - 'Puter keypad is not printing so*e letters but I will try - "enter key" does not work so I *annot do paragraphs either -- I hear you and agree - this disease su*ks the fun out of e*erything -- I a* in the 4th de*ade of this disease (*S) and it sees like the 4th *entury -- A paraplegi* on*e said -"I just want to do all the things I used to hate to do" -- I know just how he feels - don't you? -- Anyway just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and WE understand

Right there with ya', Mike. I am maniacly protective of my independence and get extremely bent out of shape when someone interferes in the name of "helping" me. Like all people, I have my own ways of doing things and for me, they are best.

Add to that, that if I can do it, I want to do it! Everything takes me a ridiculously long time to do and people can't stand waiting for me to do things. Just let me do it myself, and get out of my way!

When I want help, I ask for it. Sorry, this is turning into a rant on your own thread, Mike.

Tell your son that the house is not what you want and find one that works for you. It's your house, make it yours!

I agree with *indy on this one -

Mike

I agree with Cindy (and Sally ). And since I know her personally and have spent time with her, I know first hand that, yes, she does things her own way and will ask for help when and IF she needs it.

You should do the same. Keep looking for a house that meets your criteria. It's your house.

Well I would not have expected anything less from Cindy and I know just how she feels. Asked my 89 year old MIL to take me on a couple of errands today she wanted to do everything for me in the grocery store. I can not stand it.

We are not going to move to that house and I will find one that I like.

I have always been a very stubborn and independent person and plan on staying that way.

Thanks everyone.

I agree with Cindy cause she would slap me!

No, don't give up on the things you can do!

Good for you Mike!

Stay away from toxic people. If your MIL won't let you do things your way, give her choices - she can see you on your terms or not see you at all.

Not to steal your thunder on this thread, but I've had to do that with my in-laws. They have chosen to ignore the fact that I have MS. If we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist...so that's what happens.

As you know I have been in a clinical trial since last January and I go to Portland for tx. That's where they live. I will not stay with them b/c they don't allow me to be "sick" after my shots. So, I stay with my brother or a friend. I feel like I have been run over by a truck for 24 hours after tx, and need rest, sleep, and not be on a time schedule.

My H says I should stay with them and just go with the flow. He doesn't get it either. I am the one who is sick, not him, not them. I am the one who suffers if I do it their way, not them. If they were sick, I would most certainly bend over backwards to accommodate them, but they can't see it. Therefore, I just avoid them. It's their choice.

Last time over, I did stay there b/c we had a family wedding to attend. (H went with me.) What happened? FIL was sick with a cold. Didn't bother to mention it. Guess who is now very sick with that same cold - ME. And not just a simple cold - sinus infection, too. If I had known he had a cold, we would have stayed elsewhere. To them, it's just a cold, no big deal. Geez...

Rant over...back to you Mike...do it your way! It's easier on you, less stress. And you have control. It's your life.

Well you came through loud and clear and your rant was so on point to my own concerns and situation. I am getting to the point where I just want to grab them all toss them in a big paint mixer and shake them up or knock some sense into them.

We are ill not dead. We know what we need to do and can do for ourselves so please do not tell us you know better and try and force your opinions on us.

I am thinking of having this made into a banner and put it across the front of my house. What do you thing?

Hope that you get better soon.

Mike

Good idea!