[Riverwild]

I go for my three month checkup tomorrow. I have some prescriptions to renew and some questions. Some of them are a little embarrassing, some are just curiousity and some are serious.

I finally made a list of questions and then pared them down to the top 5, if there's time I will ask the remainder. He always schedules me for his last appt of the day so we can talk. ( I love this guy)

So...why am I posting? Cause I am a bit worried. I have noticed an increasing sense of DECREASED mobility.

I am not sure if it is winter or weight or what. I have put on a LOT of weight. I don't know how much cause I absolutely HATE scales, I always have. I am 6'2 and I have always been big ( imagine that ) It's always been something that bugged me, taller, larger, longer, wider, so I avoid scales like the plague. I fight the negative body image in my head by avoidance.

I am afraid I will hear the words " you need to lose some weight"

I KNOW I DO! We all know that is easier said than done...

I just feel sort of 'ponderous'...does that make sense? I feel as if I am waaaaaaay more careful of how I walk and bend and move than I ever was before and I am not sure what to make of it or how to explain it, or if it is a symptom or because of the weight, or age or what!

I am still learning how to live with this stupid disease and what IS and ISN'T MS.

I don't usually post negatively, but there it is...me..negative, maybe scared of progression?

On the positive side, I haven't had a relapse in more than 10 months now, at least not what I consider a relapse! No dizziness, cognitive carp, no eye problems, spazzing seems to be decreased as well!

Sigh...off to work now, have a good night everyone!