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Old 02-14-2008, 11:36 AM #1
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It's just that the brickwall comes out of nowhere when I least expect it... right at the time when everyone is saying "How great I look and how well I must be doing". I have been the great pretender for years and have gotten pretty darn good at it. So when I hit the wall, you may ask, "What's wrong?" to which I will (with automaticity) reply, "Nothing, I'm fine!"... OR (this one gets funnier all the time) "I'm just tired."

I'm the same way - I do it because I don't want my kids to worry about me. So then, when something actually DOES go wrong they act surprised. It's my fault - I just don't want to complain all the time and I don't want them fretting over me.

My sister came down from VA last week and stayed with me. We had a death in the family and we had several days of non-stop going and doing. It wore me out but I was good at hiding most of the exhaustion. I felt like total crap the whole time she was here but never said a word. Before she left she told me "I'm so glad I got a chance to come and see you - I was worried over nothing! You're fine!" Grrrrrrrrr!!!
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Old 02-14-2008, 12:31 PM #2
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My sister came down from VA last week and stayed with me. We had a death in the family and we had several days of non-stop going and doing. It wore me out but I was good at hiding most of the exhaustion. I felt like total crap the whole time she was here but never said a word. Before she left she told me "I'm so glad I got a chance to come and see you - I was worried over nothing! You're fine!" Grrrrrrrrr!!!
And just what did that prove? Why not let your sister know? What the big deal about hiding what is reality? I just don't understand it.
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Dx'd 12/00 w/RRMS
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"Thanks for this!" says:
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Old 02-14-2008, 07:59 PM #3
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Default Kit,

Wow, does that sound familiar. The catch is, I've discovered they know more than you realize. Not long ago, before dx, when I got to work, my 17 year old daughter was in my office. She knew how horrible I felt even though I said I was "just fine". Someone came in and I put on my "just fine" smile and carried on a pretty good conversation. Even gave the positive "I'm just wonderful" type reply to "How are you really doing today?" When the person left my daughter said. "WOW, YOU ARE SO GOOD, MOM!" I said "Good at what?" to which she replied "Lying!"

This just confirmed what I had suspected all along....she wasn't stupid afterall! Since then, I've been pretty honest with her. She is old enough to hear it and really wants to know the truth. Her age has a lot to do with it, but given that hindsight is 20/20, I probably should have been "somewhat" more honest all along...

Would not try to claim I have the answer to this... but hope it helps a little bit!

Maybe it would be okay for us to be a little more up front with how we feel, like with your sister... It's hard enough for us to understand and we are the ones going through it. I guess it's no wonder other people just don't get it.


I don't know..... good luck! Thanks so much for sharing!
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Old 02-17-2008, 10:15 AM #4
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DH's knee hurts right now (like mine doesn't 24/7?), so while he whined, offered him my walker. That shut him up. I look good, I treally do!!!
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