I was already semi retired (I still kept the books for my DH's business), when I had my last exacerbation that never, fully, went away. I felt very very useless, but after adjusting to my new life, I found that I could be much more involved in being a good Wife and Mother again and with encouragement from DH and Paxil, I felt useful again.

As Cindy said, Joelle, your next season is just over the Horizon. What a great way to "Spring" forward. I hope it all works out great for you.

Aw, Joelle, I'm sorry this happened! It's something that's in the back of my mind all the time, as I'm the sole support for my kids and my 87 yr old Mom.. With all the stress you've been under (and of course not feeling well on top of that), this may be just the thing to get you moving in the right direction again. I'm glad you're feeling a little better, at least, and I hope you're right about the Tysabri continuing your improvement beyond the doctor's expectations now..They don't have a crystal ball any more than we do (darn it), so this "plateau" could just be a short stopping point in your recovery. That's what I'll be praying for!Blessings,Kris

I hated making that decision as well, so I didn't really. You probably don't need to either, at least not right away.

Most disability plans have a person off on STD disability first, then LTD for the longer term. The "longer term" may be up to 24 months, depending on your policy. At 24 months, they will often do a very in-depth assessment, at which time you will need to prove you can no longer work at all; not part-time, not at ANY job, and/or not a job where you could earn even 50% of your previous wages (and hence be cut off disability payments). If you can't, then you go on "permanent LTD" . . .

Every plan is different, but it's not usually as cut and dry as you go off work and you are not required to prove "need" at some time in the future. This is especially true with the plans that pay you disability for life . . .

There will also likely be the need to apply for government disability (SSDI, or whatever it is called in the US) and this payment may be deducted from anything you recieve from your disability carrier. If there is a back-payment of this gov disability, you may need to repay this to your insurance company.

So, although this sounds very easy at the moment, there may be many "YIELD" and "STOP" signs along the way. At any point in that process, you (and your doctor) may decide that you are much better and you want to give it another shot in the workforce. Most companies have to keep your job "open" (only temporarily filled) for 24 months, so that you may step back into it if you can.

That is the way I looked at it in the beginning (there was always a "Plan A" to return to work, if possible), and it helped me to make the transition easier.

Cherie

I agree with AfterMyNap. Change is scary. And this is a major life change. But you have all of us We're here for you.

Joelle

This is a big change for you - and you've had to deal with so many changes lately some of them not so pleasant. You enjoyed your job and the social aspect of it so it's understandable to "grieve" some for what's been taken away.

Try to look at it as a blessing in disguise. This gives you more time to devote to yourself and your family without exhausting yourself. Plus, you're SO very fortunate to be able to go on Tim's insurance. My biggest fear in having to go on LTD was the fact that I would lose my insurance. Example: I had my prescription for Provigil filled and on the receipt it said "you saved $385.09". The retail price of this miracle drug is $405.09 - I had to pay a $20 copay.

Since I have been working from home there is no telling how much $$ I have saved in gasoline, drycleaning and lunch expenses. Probably not 40% of my current income but it's a big chunk of change nonetheless. You'll see the savings, too. Plus, you won't be wearing yourself out having to get up and ready to go somewhere so early in the morning. I do not miss that one bit. I do miss the social aspect of being around my coworkers but not enough to try to go back into the office!!

Give it some time - you're emotionally and physically exhausted right now. The trip I'm sure was hard on you and the circumstances were not the best. Any change to what you're accustomed to will be difficult to deal with.

Call me anytime - you know I'm up with the chickens - I know you do because we've had some 6:30 AM conversations!!!

((((JOELLE))))

It appears you are upset about the loss of working, not the great benifits that the Union provides. I'm so glad you are being taken care of by your brothers and sisters! Unions are a blessing for the worker. DH is Union, as was I for 5 years(secured a pension)....it will serve you well

Continued prayers for your Mom and I do hope you feel better soon as well!

I'm not feeling well, since about friday, so I'm not around much...but when I saw this, I had to come out and wish you peace and give you a

Hugs to Joelle! I know this is so hard but it really could be a blessing in disguise. Your body may get better and feel better with less stress from the job. You know I am here for you girl! Anytime you need to curse like a sailor you know my number! lmao

PS: Now, don't go calling me when the chickens wake up though, unless it's an emergency. I startle when the phone rings that early!

Kitty, you got the am, I'll take the afternoon/pm. LOL

I'm so sorry. Life is really throwing it at you right now! I'm so sorry.

I did not read all of the posts, so I apologize if I reapeat something that is already said.

Take this time to concentrate on your mom. You will be so glad that you have this extra time with her.

I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of positive vibes!

Hi Jeannie!

You have know idea how much I will miss the Union. I'm the grievance coodinator for our local. I miss it so much. I know without them I wouldn't have the great benefits that I have now.

I grew up in "Steel Town", the Pittsburgh area. My whole family are or were Union workers. It's a tradition.

I hope you feel better soon!

Joelle I am sorry about your job. I went through a similar rough time last year when I had to leave a job I loved soooo much I mourned as if there was a death!

I loved the people I worked with and I actually looked forward to going to work every day.

My job consisted of having a very sharp mind with no room for mistakes. I just couldn't do it anymore. My fatigue was dibilitating and my mind felt like mush.

I still have the fatigue but now when I feel bad I can lay down.

It does get better with time and you will find your new normal

Good luck. I'm thinking about your