First of all,My grandmother on my mothers side had ALS. My Mother had MS when she died last year in a nursing home. My dad was at her side till the day she died. She had MS since the 80's. She sort of closed herself away from contact to my sister, and I. She never called me anymore for about 25 years. She was indifferent when I would visit her. My sister is angry with her to this day. After she had children,my sister loved her children with all of her heart. Mother did not love us this way. My sister has developed MS. She has no love for Mother.Whenever we talk about mom,there is a coldness toward her from my sister. She said that she didn't feel anything when mother died. She doesn't like dad,and blamed her first marriage failure on the family. She said she just wanted to get out of the family. She married again,and soon they moved out of town. Years went by,and she lived her life in another city,and I lived my life in my hometown. I fell upon hard times recently,and she moved me up to where she lives. I live about 5 miles away. They had a house built. She was furious because it wasn't done just right. They have a beautiful house in the middle of the country. She was infuriated with the builder. They soon ended up in court. They found that a employee of my brother in law had been grossly negligent with her management. They have a case against her,and my sister is real angry with her. She has been talking about other people,and been very critical about allot of people. It's nice that she has been helping me,but she's angry at me now. I can't repair it. I can't bring things together. She was critical when I helped clean her house,and believe me I can clean. I worked in a Supermarket,and after about fourteen years,I was the primary cleaner,because my boss asked me along time ago to please help her,because I'm a good cleaner,and that her Manager cannot get people to clean things. So I cleaned bathrooms,floors,worked the bail rooms,and cleaned the back alley,and the side of the store for about ten years.I did this continually to help out,and to please her. It never got me anywhere in the company,but when I went home in the evening,I felt fulfilled,and I knew that I did my job. That made me feel good about myself. My boss knew that she could rely on me. I became handy with tools,and could fix things. I was good with the customers. I loved the customers. Recently with my sister,she has progressively been critical with me. I don't clean the house the way she wanted. She didn't give me but a little time to get the procedure. To make a long story short,she hired someone else. I did a few errands for her. I'd say something,and she wouldn't agree with it. She would start saying the opposite of what I say. I stayed with her several days a couple of weeks ago,and we didn't hit it off. I would say something,and whatever I would say,she wouldn't receive it,or she would disagree with it. She would drive a certain point in until it hurt me,and wore me down.She drove this on point into the ground,demandingly. I have sort of lost my confidence because of her criticism. God bless her,I don't think that she know's. It's been several years now,and all I remember is her criticism,saying bad things about our whole family. Dad had a explosive temper when we where growing up. That hurt both her,and I. Now she's angry with me. Now she's nit picking all of my actions. She doesn't like my hobbies. She doesn't like my ways. She wound look at the time,and criticize me if I was late to her house. (Critical,Critical,Critical).Believe me,this is not what I need. I've never come across such criticism,and denial. I think that she's blind to it. One day when I was in another city around five years ago she started screaming at me on the telephone about nitpicky stuff making a federal case out of them. She was fussing so loud,she would start to scream in a high pitch. I'll never forget it. She doesn't want me to come over anymore. She criticizes my email. To be truthful,I think that she wishes that she didn't have me as a brother. It definitely seems that way. This has been devastating to me. I feel rejection. My dad, and I got along for 20 years after his alcohol crises,now my sister has somehow put a wedge between him,and I. She has a loving husband,and two loving children who love her. People loved me where I use to be. She said that our dad doesn't want to talk to me anymore. It looked like she was going to cry when she said that. Now she doesn't want to talk to me,or have me over. I don't know what happened. What is this? Does anyone know?This makes me feal very strange. It hurts me to the deepest part of my heart. She said on the telephone that she wasn't going to help support me anymore in my hardship,which I won't mention. I'm going through severe problems also. That was devastating to me. Could MS be causing her to react to people,and me like this. I know you don't know her,or I,and there are two sides to a story,and I don't intend to use the information against her. I'm just looking for understanding that might help me feal better about myself,and to understand what MS could be doing to her emotions. I don't know anything about what it could be doing to her emotions. I feel very bad. I feel like alienation is starting in our family,and the root of it is her. She may not be able to help it. I have observed that she is always very angry at someone all the time. She has a tremendous anger,and a controlling nature. I don't respond to the control,or dominating influence,because I know that the person being controlled suffers. I don't think that she is on this web site,or I wouldn't be asking this question. Does anyone have any idea of what could be happening to her mind,because of MS?

MS and stress do not work well with each other.

Sometimes outbursts and anger can occur when these to mix.

I hope that things calm down for all of you.

Counseling is a good idea.

-Vic

I am going to break this up as many of us can not read a large amount of test like this, so they will unfortunately by-pass your posting entirely. I might suggest that you "edit" your original posting too though, just to avoid people from being discouraged (before they get to my post that breaks it up...)

______________________________

First of all,My grandmother on my mothers side had ALS. My Mother had MS when she died last year in a nursing home. My dad was at her side till the day she died. She had MS since the 80's. She sort of closed herself away from contact to my sister, and I. She never called me anymore for about 25 years. She was indifferent when I would visit her.

My sister is angry with her to this day. After she had children,my sister loved her children with all of her heart. Mother did not love us this way. My sister has developed MS. She has no love for Mother.Whenever we talk about mom,there is a coldness toward her from my sister. She said that she didn't feel anything when mother died. She doesn't like dad,and blamed her first marriage failure on the family. She said she just wanted to get out of the family.

She married again,and soon they moved out of town. Years went by,and she lived her life in another city,and I lived my life in my hometown. I fell upon hard times recently,and she moved me up to where she lives. I live about 5 miles away. They had a house built. She was furious because it wasn't done just right. They have a beautiful house in the middle of the country. She was infuriated with the builder. They soon ended up in court. They found that a employee of my brother in law had been grossly negligent with her management. They have a case against her,and my sister is real angry with her.

She has been talking about other people,and been very critical about allot of people. It's nice that she has been helping me,but she's angry at me now. I can't repair it. I can't bring things together. She was critical when I helped clean her house,and believe me I can clean. I worked in a Supermarket,and after about fourteen years,I was the primary cleaner,because my boss asked me along time ago to please help her,because I'm a good cleaner,and that her Manager cannot get people to clean things.

So I cleaned bathrooms,floors,worked the bail rooms,and cleaned the back alley,and the side of the store for about ten years.I did this continually to help out,and to please her. It never got me anywhere in the company,but when I went home in the evening,I felt fulfilled,and I knew that I did my job. That made me feel good about myself. My boss knew that she could rely on me.

I became handy with tools,and could fix things. I was good with the customers. I loved the customers. Recently with my sister,she has progressively been critical with me. I don't clean the house the way she wanted. She didn't give me but a little time to get the procedure. To make a long story short,she hired someone else. I did a few errands for her. I'd say something,and she wouldn't agree with it. She would start saying the opposite of what I say.

I stayed with her several days a couple of weeks ago,and we didn't hit it off. I would say something,and whatever I would say,she wouldn't receive it,or she would disagree with it. She would drive a certain point in until it hurt me,and wore me down.She drove this on point into the ground,demandingly. I have sort of lost my confidence because of her criticism. God bless her,I don't think that she know's.

It's been several years now,and all I remember is her criticism,saying bad things about our whole family. Dad had a explosive temper when we where growing up. That hurt both her,and I. Now she's angry with me. Now she's nit picking all of my actions. She doesn't like my hobbies. She doesn't like my ways. She wound look at the time,and criticize me if I was late to her house. (Critical,Critical,Critical).Believe me,this is not what I need. I've never come across such criticism,and denial. I think that she's blind to it.

One day when I was in another city around five years ago she started screaming at me on the telephone about nitpicky stuff making a federal case out of them. She was fussing so loud,she would start to scream in a high pitch. I'll never forget it. She doesn't want me to come over anymore. She criticizes my email. To be truthful,I think that she wishes that she didn't have me as a brother. It definitely seems that way. This has been devastating to me. I feel rejection.

My dad, and I got along for 20 years after his alcohol crises,now my sister has somehow put a wedge between him,and I. She has a loving husband,and two loving children who love her. People loved me where I use to be. She said that our dad doesn't want to talk to me anymore. It looked like she was going to cry when she said that. Now she doesn't want to talk to me,or have me over. I don't know what happened. What is this? Does anyone know?This makes me feal very strange. It hurts me to the deepest part of my heart.

She said on the telephone that she wasn't going to help support me anymore in my hardship,which I won't mention. I'm going through severe problems also. That was devastating to me.

Could MS be causing her to react to people,and me like this. I know you don't know her,or I,and there are two sides to a story,and I don't intend to use the information against her. I'm just looking for understanding that might help me feal better about myself,and to understand what MS could be doing to her emotions. I don't know anything about what it could be doing to her emotions. I feel very bad.

I feel like alienation is starting in our family,and the root of it is her. She may not be able to help it. I have observed that she is always very angry at someone all the time. She has a tremendous anger,and a controlling nature. I don't respond to the control,or dominating influence,because I know that the person being controlled suffers. I don't think that she is on this web site,or I wouldn't be asking this question. Does anyone have any idea of what could be happening to her mind,because of MS?
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Cherie

It sounds like you have, at the very least, a dysfunctional family, and at best, a very unhealthy one.

It's amazing how always feeling sick and out of sorts (which obviously your mom, dad, grandma and quite possibly your sister too) can make some people ill-tempered and bitter. I get that way too, to be honest . . .

I don't know what kind of condition your sister is in, but it can be depressing to not be able to leave the house most days, while feeling like a non-gendered heap of pain, day after day, month after month. Trust me, even the most Polly-Anna of us breaks down at times (for hours, days, weeks, or even months), and some people are just perpetually grumpy and short-tempered.

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. All you can do is try to rise above it (like your sister tried to do with her kids), and get in with people who you like/like you back. This constant negative energy is really not good for you, and coming from the background that you did (neglect, potential maternal emotional abuse), you need to surround yourself with positive forces in your life.

It's sad when you come to realize that you really don't have any family to count on, but that seems to happen to a lot of us, especially those with chronic illnesses. You, however, are healthy, and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it on nasty, grumpy people . . . if you feel you've given this your best shot.

Also, remember only a few generations ago, most of our Grandparents and Great-Grandparents came settled in our countries from some far away place. Many of them NEVER saw their families again, let alone talked to them much on the phone. You are a man now (I'm assuming), and it's time for you to move on in your life.

Get counselling to help you cope with your losses, if possible. That would be my FIRST step, if I were you.

Good luck,

Cherie

It sounds to me like she has alot of anger to the ms,not toured you.
How long has she had ms??

She was diagnosed with MS when she was 40. Now she's 57,and I'm 55.

I'm sorry. I didnt mean to bother anyone in the least. Forgive me. I'll move away off the thread,and I won't post anything else. I'm sorry everybody,I'm moving on. I give you my best wishes,and I hope that everyones treatments go well. Moderator. Please close the thread. Thank you

I don't understand why you've decided to leave Brokenfriend!

All Cherie was doing by breaking up your post, was to make your post a little easier for us to read. There are many of us on this site who find long posts without paragraphs hard to decipher. Posts written in capitals are equally hard to read.

Please reconsider your decision, as I'm sure you must have lots you can add to this forum, and if there's anyway we can help you, you can be assured we'll do our best.

Hugs to you from me.

it wasn't a bother, Broken.

one of the biggest problems most of us have with MS is that a lot of our symptoms are INVISIBLE.

I was really GLAD that Cherie changed your post, so I could read it.

lol, I break up my posts into single sentences, because otherwise, I couldn't even read my OWN posts!

and many of us get so used to the various invisible stuff going on with our bodies, that we FORGET to tell those who LOVE us when we're exhausted, in pain, and can't move around or see easily.

or we just get tired of explaining all the things bedeviling us, and somehow expect people to just KNOW and understand.

since your sister has had MS for 17 years, maybe she's the same way I am, tired, hurting, numb, burning, tingling, head-achey, blurry vision (I've had MS for 20 years now).

good luck working things out with your sister, and sorry you've fallen on hard times.

Oh oh . . . did I come across as even grumpier then your sister.

Cherie