[Erin524]

I really hate insomnia.

It's almost 2am. I had a sleeping pill (amitriptyline) about an hour ago, and I'm STILL awake.

My uncle's funeral is in the morning, and I have to drive my dad to the small town it's in. Funeral is at 10am, so we have to leave by at least 8am, which means that I have to be up by 6am to get a shower and wash my hair. I dont know how I'm going to do it if I dont get any sleep.

Stupid f-ing MS...why does it have to screw up my sleep schedule all the time? Now I know why I've been having problems sleeping for about the last 10 or 11yrs.

*banging head on desk...repeatedly*

I'm actually tired. I'm even a bit sleepy, but my stupid brain wont let me sleep. Maybe it has something to do with the mild food poisoning I got from eating at Applebee's at lunch? (there was a piece of plastic in my salad...I wonder what else was in there?)

The food poisoning has been mild, since it's not making me bear hug a toilet.

My neuro told me to get lots of rest since when you're tired, MS symptoms can get bothersome or all pseudo-y....well, how can I get some rest when I have insomnia??

Whoever is in charge of the MS in my brain is not a very nice person...a complete jerk.

[Friend2U]

...you can't sleep. I did get a little before now. I hope I am late enough replying that you have drifted off. Take care driving your dad to the funeral.
My thoughts are with you!

[Koala77]

Me too!

It's not night time here yet Erin. It's only 6pm here in OzLand, but I do hope you've gone off to the Land of Nod now, and don't see this until tomorrow or the next day!.

Sending you lots of hugs to help you through tomorrow......

[Jason C]

It sounds to me like you're thinking too much. I have the same problem when I try to fall asleep. What usually helps me is trying to focus on happy, easy thoughts. Instead of thinking of all the stuff I have to do tomorrow, I think of pleasant memories or fun things to do. Sometimes listening to some really mellow music or nature sounds helps too. If you can't stop thinking, try to keep your thoughts loose and flowing and eventually they'll drift off.

[Erin524]

I got about 3 hours of sleep before I woke up and couldnt sleep and went up to see what my parents were going to do. I think that posting this thread last night helped me fall asleep. Sometimes it seems like if I vent or kvetch about it, then some of the stress of trying to fall asleep will go away after a bit and I'll fall asleep eventually.

My dad woke up with really bad back pain. He doesnt think he can drive himself to the funeral. The burial is here in town, so he's thinking he'll just go to the burial if his back will let him later.

I still dont feel so great from whatever I ate yesterday, and I'm about to go back to bed for a few hours (getting up at 930, that'll give me about another 2hrs, give or take a few minutes)

I'm not going to the burial, I dont do funerals (funeral phobia) and I dont do burials. I tend to just wait till the grass has grown over the graves before I visit the cemetery.

After I get a little more sleep, I'm going to go to the flower store and pick something out for my dad to take to the burial. I'm guessing I'll just pick out several roses of different colors, and tell my dad to either toss them in when they lower the casket, or whatever he wants to do with them.

[beautytransforming]

You are in my thoughts today.

This episode may have less to do with your MS and more to do with the circumstances. I hope you get through the day alright. Grieving is good, don't hold it in!

Have you tried other sleeping meds? Do you have other things, like RLS or sleep apnea that interfere, or is it just plain ole' can't fall asleep?

I learned a few years ago to take a tablet to bed with me. When I can't shut down my brain, I just write, for three pages. Don't think, just write. It may not make sense. You may just write, "I can't think of anything to write," but it does help shut down your brain.

Thoughts for today, and hope you can get a good night sleep tonight!

[Kitty]

Originally Posted by Jason C

It sounds to me like you're thinking too much. I have the same problem when I try to fall asleep. What usually helps me is trying to focus on happy, easy thoughts. Instead of thinking of all the stuff I have to do tomorrow, I think of pleasant memories or fun things to do. Sometimes listening to some really mellow music or nature sounds helps too. If you can't stop thinking, try to keep your thoughts loose and flowing and eventually they'll drift off.

Great advice!!

[Natalie8]

It sounds like you are under an extreme amount of stress right now so it is not surprising that you are having problems sleeping! Try not to beat yourself up too much. Plus food poisoning doesn't help either. My husband and I went to eat at the mother-in-law's house on Sunday and we both got it. He's always skeptical of his mother's "sanitation" practices -- she leaves old food in the fridge for days. But hey it tasted good, only we just paid for it.

Anyhow.... I have a suggestion for you regarding sleep or just plain relaxation. I have suffered from insomnia for many years even before all of this MS crap (I've noticed that I use the word crap a lot now in these posts -- just about sums up the MS I guess). In the beginning when I was diagnosed I bought this guided imagery CD by Bellaruth Naparstek called "Multiple Sclerosis." It has a guided imagery sequence designed to alleviate fatigue, improve movement etc. and to envision less inflammation around the myelin in the brain. It also has some affirmations to listen to as well. I am a holistic health junkie and I thought, hey this can't hurt, I'll check it out. I put it on my MP3 player so I could listen to it on the headphones as I lay on the couch or in bed. I fell asleep the first time I listened to it in the middle of the day!!!! So now, when the insomnia is really bad I listen to it lying in bed with the lights out before I go to sleep. I'm telling you, I can never seem to get to the end of the CD because I always fall asleep!! Consciously I'm not even sure what's at the end since I konk out before its over but unconsciously I imagine my brain is listening to these affirmations. Bellaruth has the most soothing reassuring voice--it's so comforting. When I'm in bed in the dark, tucked into my covers, and listening to her I just instinctively relax. It's worth a try for insomnia. I also recommend it for relaxation and thinking positively about your body.

Here is the link http://www.healthjourneys.com/product_detail.aspx?id=17

My condolences for the death of your uncle. I'll be thinking of you.

[Erin524]

I ended up having to drive my parents down to the cemetery. (closest I've gotten to a funeral since I was 15)

We got there before my uncle did. The hearse pulled in just as we were getting done scraping the winter schmutz off of my grandparents grave. (sacrificed one of the roses I bought for my uncle for my grandparents...I hadnt been to their double plot since before my grandmother died. She needed a flower)

I stayed in the car. It was a warm day today (first truly nice day in weeks! good timing!) and so I parked the car in the shade and sat there listening to classical music with the volume really low. (I had all the windows down, there was a nice cool breeze blowing)

Watched a bunch of relatives show up. My car was the first in the line of parked cars, so no one realized I was actually there. I was surprised to see a bunch of relatives show up wearing jeans and t-shirts. My dad's sister (uncle's widow) was wearing a t-shirt and nice pants. My parents both wore jeans, and my dad's other little sister showed up with jeans and a BRIGHT green t-shirt on. There was no missing her walking thru the cemetery.

The cemetery workers were nice. They gave my mom a ride to the gravesite on their little ATV-like cart because she was using a walker. She had to walk back, but at least they saved her (and my dad) some stress and pain.


I did get a few hours extra sleep this morning after my dad decided not to go to the funeral in my aunt's town. He hurt his back the other day, and it was killing him this morning, so he skipped the funeral and that's why I had to drive him to the burial. At least the cemetery was not that far from our house. No highway driving or interstate driving.

The sleeping problems I had last night werent any worse than I've had before...it was just annoying. I dont think stress was causing it. I do think the food poisoning had something to do with it tho. I think it was just the same old everyday insomnia that I've been having problems with since last November, made just a bit more annoying because I didnt feel good. I've had worse insomnia before that, it's just annoying when it bothers me on a day that I want to get up early.

One of my cousins brought stomach flu with him when he and his family traveled back for the funeral. So, now I'm kind of glad we skipped the funeral. But, everyone else was exposed to it, so hopefully his stomach flu didnt hitch any rides with anyone my parents shook hands with at the burial.