hollym |
04-23-2008 11:42 AM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by joellelee2000
(Post 264911)
I called my mom at the hospita yesterday morning. She's decided to halt all treatments. :( She has fluid in her lungs and around her heart, a c-diff infection, massive sweling in her legs, and a lot of pain. I totally support her decision as do the rest of the family. I'm still a 1000 miles away from her because I have to be here for my dh and drive my son to the gastro tomorrow. I'm really scared that I won't get to see my mom again. I wish I had known before I left Pittsburgh that it would probably have been the last time we'd be together. I'm very worried about my dad. They've been married for 44 years. I can tell over the phone how despondent he is, which is perfectly natural. I wish I could be there for him too. OMG this is just so surreal to me. I feel like a mouse on one of those stupid wheels. Running in place and getting nowhere fast. Sorry agan guys. I hope to be back to my silly self some day :).
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I'm so sorry! I was in your shoes about 2 years ago, but my mom was in Oregon and I'm in Pittsburgh. I know how hard it is.
My mom couldn't ever have any treatments because of how far gone her cancer was by the time they caught it. She was so sick that it had weakened her heart and she wasn't strong enough to try anything.
I did fly out for a period of time ~ 10 days before she really deteriorated. She only lived a couple of months longer. We talked a lot on the phone the rest of that time.
The one thing I keep thinking is that we never know if we are seeing anyone for the last time. No one is guaranteed another day on this earth even if you don't have a cancer dx. Do not beat yourself up over that. What would you have done differently? I am sure she knows how much you love her.
Also, you might end up being able to make another trip to see her if your DH stabilizes. Right now, it feels like you are overwhelmed. Get off that wheel and just take things one day at a time and try not to stress over the things you can't control. I know that advice is easy to give and not as easy to follow, but try.
When I get overwhelmed, I make a list of the things out of my control and sit down and pray about them and turn them over to God. Then, I tackle the things that I can do something about.
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