Adjusting to a new marriage, especially when there are teenage kids, can be hard on anyone . . . let alone with MS being in the picture.

I was married, had a difficult teenaged step son and two little ones when the MS took a turn. I adored my husband (still do), but we did not handle most things well together. We had a very active lifestyle, and things changed a lot when I got sick. He was also extremely over-protective of me, and I was struggling hard to keep my independance through that time. The stress of it all was too much for me, and I ended my marriage just so that I could have less to deal with.

I thrived on stress at one time, and prided myself on multi-tasking. When the MS got bad, I just couldn't do that any more, and had to "simplify" my life as much as possible to cope. I wish I could have found a way to do it while still maintaining my marriage, but I couldn't.

Since our break-up, my ex takes the kids 2 nights a week, and has the youngest at least one night every weekend. He feeds and entertains them with movies, plays, swimming, camping, fairs, vacations, etc., and he balances out their live's in a way that he never would have done if we were still together.

He is still my best friend too.

Obviously I don't have the answers , but I would suggest you try to find a way to stay on the fringe of your husband's relationship with his kids. Ask him to take them out sometimes when they come to visit, so you can maintain as much "status quo" in the house as possible, especially when you are not feeling well.

Cherie

Thanks for sharing Cherie. That is great advice. The kids are here every other weekend and one weeknight each week. I have asked DH to take the kids out without me several times because it just got overwhelming. Even without the MS diagnosis it was going to be difficult, largely because I was living by myself for many years and had my own routine going on before I moved in. I like spending time by myself -- in fact I need silence to recharge. In the past 2 years I've developed a very low tolerance for loud noise, stimulation, busyness etc. I always wondered if this was MS related. I can't have the radio too loud in the car, or the television on, or I get annoyed with too many people talking at me. The kids always have to have the TV on, even when they leave the room, and it drives me crazy. But I've set my foot down several times. Oh yeah, and did I mention there is a "crazy" ex-wife in the picture? She was fine before we got married and then she snapped. Now she is another added stressor. And she is re-married with another child yet she is still acting out! Anyhow, I digress......thanks again for your story.