Well, not really. I'll technically be "in church" later this afternoon, at my granddaughter's Baccalaureate service. My one and only grandchild will graduate from high school on Saturday.

Isn't everything such a big deal? I don't mean playing hooky, I mean having to count out the nickels (I don't use "spoons") every five seconds to try to guess how many you'll have left at the end of the day...or actually, when you run out of nickels and it's suddenly the end of the day, no matter what time it is.

I know I can't do church in the morning and Baccalaureate this afternoon. Can't do graduation next week and...anything else, probably.

My poor brain doesn't like having to FIGURE EVERYTHING OUT. Let's see, if I wash my hair at such a time, I won't have to do it at this other time, and will I save a nickel's worth of energy if I skip this or do this a different way.

Aaargh. I'm so thankful for the abilities I have and the many blessings in my life, but sometimes I sure miss the old days, when I could just BE, without having to figure everything out three weeks in advance.

Amen!! I know what it's like to have to plan what should be a simple trip to the grocery store. And then know that it's the only thing I will be doing that day. Well.....there is the afternoon nap and then couch duty later that evening to look forward to......

I used to feel that way too, B2. Then it got much worse, now I'm very thankful to be able to do anything with a little help from my friend, Provigil.

Yesterday I had 4 grad party invites and opted to attend only 2 of closer friends' kids'. The first one, I drove up onto the lawn, right into the party, called to have the kid sent to me, she came, I congratulated her, we chatted a bit, I started up the car and backed out. That was all I could afford and she got a kick out of it. Her parents did too, but I happen to know that they don't have underground sprinkling. So that was all of 30 minutes.

Next I went to one that I could not cheat, this kid is a little more special with a lot more of my friends. I drove right up onto the lawn (they're used to that) and got out my walker. It took me about 10 minutes to navigate the grassy, bumpy turf to stick myself someplace out of the way.

I knew that I could accept no beverages and I didn't dare eat anything (flippin' unpredictable bowels) because there was no way I could get into the house to use the bathroom. But, I had a very nice time seeing the boy and his buds, the other family members along with several of my friends.

A funny thing happened when I said my thank yous and goodbyes. I got back to my car and ended up "holding court" for 90 minutes as one friend or kid after another waited for a turn and came and sat with me for a little chat. It was very odd, but fun. I sincerely appreciated that they all wanted to do it!

So, even though they know that I couldn't make the circuit and visit with each of them, they all found their own ways to make it happen. It's not as fun as milling around, but I felt safe seated in my car and they all seem to understand that much. They never ask me why I can't do this or that anymore, they just help me make things happen in new ways.

I was very, very tired when I got home, but ever so glad I went.

Today, I will go to the lakeshore and join the cheering section for the MS 150 bike riders as they come in from a grueling ride in the name of helping people like me. It will be warm and tiring, but they're worth it to me. Tomorrow, I'll pay.

See? That's why I come here. You guys know what I'm talking about.

I just told my husband that I don't like to go places in the afternoon. Not only is it my "bad" time of day (compared to "not so bad", I guess) but I'm discombulated and freaked out all morning, trying to figure out how what I do early in the day will affect me later.

Peanut butter sandwich for lunch with a few sips of diet coke. Can't eat anything unpredictable (like Cindy was saying). How much Provigil and/or caffeine to keep alert, but not enough to make me obnoxious. ("Whoa, Mika, I thought your grandmother would never shut up. What's WRONG with her, anyway?")

I've managed to force myself not to call and ask my daughter questions she probably won't be able to answer anyway: How many HC spots? Will it be warm or cool in the church? Where is the bathroom in proximity to where we'll sit? Can I have an aisle seat?

People wonder why I say "No thanks" so often. But this one will be worth it!

Yesterday when I went with my son to pickup the storage I had at my former employers location I was getting a little anxious because I'm usually home at that time of day. I was worried that my body would play an unpredictable joke on me. I didn't dare eat breakfast or even have my usual two cups of coffee.....way too much of a chance to take. And just how in the world are you supposed to explain something like that to anyone.....especially your 20 year old son??

Maybe I should plan outings more often....maybe I'd lose some weight....

I wish it worked that way! I'm more apt to GAIN weight when I'm anxious, because I eat all the wrong things--ramen noodles, sandwiches, cookies, chocolate.

And you are so right. I wouldn't want to try to explain that stuff to my son (who is 38) even if he CARED!

...where two or more are gathered.

You ARE the church. You played hookie from a meeting.