Well, that's over-simplifying it. It was a church board meeting, and I REALLY REALLY thought I would go. It was at 6:00, so I would be home by 8-ish (I live next door).

But I got home from work, and I was beyond toast. I looked so bad that Bob said, "Is there anything I can do for you?" I said, "Yeah, can you cry for me, I'm too tired."

I don't think I could have gone up or down stairs one more time to save my life. I was in bed and asleep before 8:00. I never called to say I wasn't coming...just couldn't pull together enough brain cells to do so.

And now I feel as though it would be easier to just hide under the bed than to try to explain to "normal" people why I couldn't go next door for two hours. The fact that they care about me doesn't necessarily mean they'll understand. I'm just going to fall back on the old standby: I wasn't feeling well.

What I WON'T say is "Trust me, you wouldn't have WANTED me at that meeting. I wouldn't have had a clue what anybody was talking about and would have just voted no for everything. And possibly walked (crawled?) out in tears."

Phooey.

The worst part is that I'm upbeat by nature, and it's frustrating when the holes in my head put me into a mood that's really not "me". Ya know what I mean???

I know what you mean, B2Y. I have those days, too, and I don't even work full-time like you do!!

I tend to feel guilty when I can't do something because I think "you've had all day to rest.....get up you big sissy!" and then I get mad because I really want to do things. And I feel like my friends and family must think that I use "I'm too tired" as a blanket excuse. But I don't - and I know deep down they don't think that. I just wish they could know exactly how bad the exhaustion is. It's beyond tired....it's disabling.

I hope today is a better day for you.

I know what you mean as well. Can't explain it (get more tired from trying), people actually seeing you doesn't help either because visuals don't help.

First hand experience would help ... but ... wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.

So... shrug it off (when you get the energy to do that (and remember to do that) ... and just do what you can do; when you can do it.

Wishing you well!

Niko

sorry B2y figured sorry would help more than an awwww, this time. I know what you mean about others not understanding, its irritating and annoying to say the least, but in the end you have to do whats best for you, regardless of others. hope your weekend is a good one

yes, i know what you mean.
when the body says enuf, it's just enuf.

at least you honored what your's was telling you.
there was an article that stated so wonderfully about using energy in terms anyone could understand. it was called Spoons or something like that. great article. but you'd have to feel comfortable sharing the intimacy of an article like that.

i gave it to close family and friends. it helped them "get it".

you may just comment that you're so sorry. your MS didn't allow you to make the meeting after a long day.

Thank you all for your kind words of support. Guess I'm kind of going through a rough patch right now. I get home from work so tired that I just sit there and cry. Poor Bob wants to help, and of course whatever he says hits me wrong, then I cry harder because I'm sorry.

sometimes we have to do things we just don't like but I am sure everyone there totally understood....

not to make too much light of this but:

You blew off a meeting and the meeting went on anyway. The result: the church is still standing and the world did not stop spinning.

Your husband tries to comfort you and you may bite his head off now and again. Guess what!?? He still loves you, warts and all. (just like you still love him when he gets his knickers in a bunch)

Don't beat yourself up too much over having a tough time. We have ALL been there - MS or no MS. You are having a rough time of it all but just keep telling yourself that old familiar refrain:

"and this too shall pass"
Aw, look at that - your smiling!