I was only ever on a very low dose antidepressant for pain. It wasn't therapeutic level for depression. I wasn't on it for very long--just until the pain went away.

See, it doesn't really bother me that Dr. Researcher wanted me to get retested. What does bother me is that someone who wasn't clinically competent to administer the testing not only administered it in 2003, but also interpreted it. A psychologist is not a neuropsychologist.

Dr. Researcher said that it is good to have repeat tests done, especially after 5 years. My problem isn't with that either. If that was how he felt about it, fine. That's why I've let them do repeat MRIs, CT scans, LP, bloodwork, VEP, and why I'm going to go get the neuropsych testing done all over again.

The psychologist who administered the neuropsych testing to me never gave me raw scores, never included any data like that in his report, and basically gave more of a psych profile than anything. At Dr. Researcher's request, I did see a psychologist this year. He diagnosed me with adjustment disorder--not depression. He felt Dr. Researcher's statements that my sx could be based on depression were a bunch of hooey. And Dr. Researcher's statements were based on what amounts to essentially a psych profile.

Spending a month trying to figure out the words "filing cabinet" is frustrating. Forgetting how to count months or the names of the months between December and April is scary. THAT is what was going on with me in 2003.

I've been depressed before. I never had cognitive problems. Yet there I was in 2003 not able to remember things I heard people say just moments before, extremely distractible--sometimes taking 2 hours to get reoriented on task, would say things that I didn't think I had said (and would argue that I hadn't), had major word searching issues, etc. That was not normal. And it was disturbing.

And I was disturbed by the psychologist's report when I got it as he got facts wrong, misstated what I had told him in several places, and it just didn't seem as complete as the reports of others who had had the testing done.

The psychologist who administered the neuropsych test in 2003 never gave the baseline figures for his report--no one, not one doc, could tell whether or not I differed in my test results from 2003 if they were trying to compare it to any testing that I would get done now. What I'm saying is that the 2003 testing is meaningless.

I guess what you're trying to tell me, Cherie, is that I shouldn't be angry that I spent all that time getting tested for a meaningless test result that was administered by someone not clinically competent to administer it. It's in the past, I can move forward from it, but it still makes me angry.