Cherie, you just won top spot in the first ever International "Quips for Cwappy Queries" contest.

Now I am almost looking forward to the next socially correct, but empty, "How are you?"

Yup, your response just outta do it.

Hey, Jules, maybe there is a T-shirt just waiting to be made. Little caricatures at a teaparty...
baby fingers crooked... "how are you?" My b & bs are no longer functioning, but....

Proceeds to an MS program.

The truth is that you can't win in a situation like this, and you'll drive yourself bats trying to.

I say "Good days and bad days, like everybody" or "So far, so good", but usually I just say "Fine". If somebody REALLY wants to know, he or she will say, "No, how are you really?" And I tell them. But first I give fair warning and offer the opportunity to opt out.

My brother is rather of the persuasion that you just can't let yourself start THINKING you're sick, blah blah blah. So if he asks how I'm doing, I just say "Peachy keen, how are you?"

Well, the funniest part about that response is that I actually used it one time, without even realizing what I was saying.

I had been paralyzed, numb, etc. with a Transverse Myelitis (spinal lesion) attack for a few months, and of course two of the symptoms were bowel and bladder incontinence. I was a few weeks into recovery when someone asked "how are you doing?", and I responded very excitedly with that answer. The look on her face . . . I knew I was onto something.

Cherie