My family prides themselves on being rugged stock and my previous strategy of saying "I'm doing good" whenever asked (because people really don't give a hoot and also I personally can't stand a whiner no matter how justified their whining is) seemed to lead my immediate circle to think that my version of MS isn't and won't ever be an issue.

I recently said to a relative when asked about my health "some days are really good/some not so good" and he sort of smirked and repeated what I said like I was being a Prima Donna! I felt like smacking him in the face because fortunately my 'left hook' hasn't been affected yet.

Of course I realize that this is my own fault for not being more honest and at least part of it is because no one really wants to accept the fact that I may be physically heading down the crapper but sheesh. I just wish they would quit asking!

When they ask....just say "FINE". Dont elaborate because as you stated, they really don't want to hear about it. If they ask specific questions, then you can say more or take the opportunity to educate them.

Sometimes they will start asking questions or will tell me about someone else with MS and I use that as a que to do some educating. That is usually the only time I feel someone really wants to talk about it.

Jim and I kind of did the same thing. "We're fine, things are good, etc" Now that he's confined to the wheelchair it seems everyone thinks the same anyway. It's frustrating but we deal with it. Our neighbors are more understanding because they "see' it more. Maybe.

How long have you been dx, Jules?

I know how to shut them up . . . just say "My bladder and bowels are no longer functioning, but otherwise I am doing quite well, thanks. "

Say it even if it isn't true.

If they have the guts to ask any more, just say it's "private".

Most people don't really want to know, it is just a habit to say "How are you?". What they really want is for you to tell them "I'm fine . . . but did you hear about the local highschool girl who commited suicide last week?".

It's like when they say "Have a nice day" . . . it's programmed manners, not a genuine interest in whether you are doing ok, or will have a nice day.

I tend to respond in blocks of time. If someone asks "How are you?", I will say "I had a rough couple of months", or "Last year was bad" . . . but "I've been doing relatively well lately...".

Cherie

This one made my day

Speaking OT of programmed responses..."If you need anything..."

Unfortunately, people just don't really want to know the truth, even though they ask? Bizarre...always mind-boggling!

Sorry you had to endure the prima donna comment, maybe next time you see this relative, you can go buy one of those toy princess tiaras

I ask some people if they want me to say "fine" or really tell them the truth? Most I just say "fine" to.

Yup its going to be "fine" from now on unless pushed and then I'm heading right for Cherie's most excellent suggestion, lol.

I just knew you would find a way to make me smile through my frown! What a great bunch you are.

Cherie, you just won top spot in the first ever International "Quips for Cwappy Queries" contest.

Now I am almost looking forward to the next socially correct, but empty, "How are you?"

Yup, your response just outta do it.

Hey, Jules, maybe there is a T-shirt just waiting to be made. Little caricatures at a teaparty...
baby fingers crooked... "how are you?" My b & bs are no longer functioning, but....

Proceeds to an MS program.

The truth is that you can't win in a situation like this, and you'll drive yourself bats trying to.

I say "Good days and bad days, like everybody" or "So far, so good", but usually I just say "Fine". If somebody REALLY wants to know, he or she will say, "No, how are you really?" And I tell them. But first I give fair warning and offer the opportunity to opt out.

My brother is rather of the persuasion that you just can't let yourself start THINKING you're sick, blah blah blah. So if he asks how I'm doing, I just say "Peachy keen, how are you?"

Well, the funniest part about that response is that I actually used it one time, without even realizing what I was saying.

I had been paralyzed, numb, etc. with a Transverse Myelitis (spinal lesion) attack for a few months, and of course two of the symptoms were bowel and bladder incontinence. I was a few weeks into recovery when someone asked "how are you doing?", and I responded very excitedly with that answer. The look on her face . . . I knew I was onto something.

Cherie