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Old 11-04-2008, 08:44 AM #11
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B2Y, I get it too.

This caused a minor meltdown for me last month. I was tired of being strong and misunderstood since I know there are others in worst predictaments. I was sick of all these "invisible" symptoms. I felt like I could sympathize with the moles in the old arcade game of "whack-a-mole".

But between some counseling and a lecture from the neuro (after he told me I was still stable), I bounced back. My hubby took it in stride, and told me that probably every once in awhile this will happen.

I'm learning to accept my new normal and not obsess about what I used to be able to do. It's not easy and has been a bit of a battle not to compare, but when I manage to do it - I feel so much better about myself.

Venting is good for the soul, and glad you did. Hang in there.
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:25 PM #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinLady View Post
I'm learning to accept my new normal and not obsess about what I used to be able to do. It's not easy and has been a bit of a battle not to compare, but when I manage to do it - I feel so much better about myself.

So true.....each time I'm slapped with the "new normal" for me I have to tell myself that I may not be able to run anymore....or even walk steadily.....but I can still be happy and have a good attitude and not compare myself to others. Who knows what "invisible" demons the people we envy are facing? Some worse than MS even......
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Last edited by Kitty; 11-04-2008 at 02:15 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 11-06-2008, 09:40 AM #13
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Years ago (I could walk then, hadn'ed been diagnosed), DH and I told some stories of our life involving KBG and CIA (not at same time) as I worked at an Import/Export Company"You're making that up" they said. Yeah, some adventures, have PPMS (in a chair), but until I was 46 never sought diagnose. I do get sick of being the "brave little soldier" . and to trusted people I let them know what it's really like, but like Sandy said, with each new loss, I've cried some but had to keep rolling on. Not to make lemonaid out of lemons, I can realize through tears I have no use of left hand,. but at least I'm right-handed
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Old 11-06-2008, 10:09 AM #14
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B2Y,

I do understand.

There are a lot of things that I'm no longer able to do or up-to-doing ... for me the MS has been a very slow progess, so I've been able to "get used" to it.

My current personal motto is this:
I do what I can do when I can do it, and remember it

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Old 11-06-2008, 12:35 PM #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessings2You View Post
I'm just bad enough that I never really "forget", but just okay enough that I never really adjust to the idea. I don't think I'm making any sense, and I'd probably better go back and keep sorting newspaper clippings.
You are making perfect sense to me Blessings.. I was just the way you are now, for many years, until my last exacerbation, that led to my present SPMS, disability..

I am mostly scooter bound now....I think it's a combo of MS and growing older. I am just so thankful that I was able to see my DS's and DD start their adult lives before I became so damn helpless.....Oh don't get me wrong, I am still as independent as I can be..

I hope you stay as you are for many years to come and with todays Meds, there is much hope that you and others will do just that..
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Old 11-07-2008, 12:47 AM #16
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Hmmmm...

I fell awhile back. It took nearly an hour for me to get back up on my feet. This triggered me spending the last few weeks in a pretty bad depression. NOT suicidal. Just sick and tired of being sick and tired and not seeing the results I had hoped for. Not gaining any ground. Other things in my personal life caved in and crushed the wall I had set to keep me safe.

I usually grab one brick at a time (address one problem at a time), and push it off me to get back up. *Moose has never bought into the hype and BS of 'multi-tasking'. Not even when I was healthy.

But I just decided to accept the details of that particular situation as is and quit sulking. Shift my focus on something I can fix and improve.

I can draw a straight line to connect my MS diagnosis to my drinking to the car wreck that put me in this wheelchair and cane.

I'm sober now. Refuse to see a victim in the mirror.

So to answer your original question; Will I ever get used to being disabled?

No.

I may slip from time to time...
But I will keep fighting to improve what I can, how I can.
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Old 11-07-2008, 08:04 AM #17
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Moose,
Your words help me. I'm in a chair, left side useless (though it never has trouble feeling pain - frozen shoulder, sciatica, etc - all MS related but can't be "said" MS did it) But when I fall or feel bad I always tell myself "maybe out-gunned but never outmanned". It Helps a little. At least I try to pull up my big girl panties.
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Old 11-07-2008, 08:09 AM #18
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Yeah, I reversed it, but works for this MS brain.
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Old 11-07-2008, 03:28 PM #19
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I don't know why I should be surprised that I don't get used to being disabled. I'm always surprised when I look in the mirror, and I'm old and fat. I don't get used to that, either.
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Old 11-07-2008, 03:34 PM #20
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In my dreams I'm a younger me, can walk and stuff and even in the dream I'm amazed. A young mind in an aging container.
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