Oh Dear Sally,
I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time of it recently. I don't live alone, and I don't need the use of assistive devices yet. My husband and I live in a one level home. Most homes in Fla. are one level, and there are days when I get home from working that I know that I wouldn't be able to handle living in a two level home. I think your idea of a one level condo close to your daughter sounds like a sound one to me.

There are many assisted communities around the area where we live, and the people who reside there seem to be quite happy (from what I can see). I've done some volunteer work and most of the patrons seem to be very self sufficient and happy. The social life is built in, so you won't feel like a shut in, and they even have people to help clean your apartments. Have you discussed this with your lovely daughter? Are there any one level condos or assisted living communities in the area near your daughter?

I tend to agree with the others. Try getting a good real estate agent and take your time. In the meantime, please be careful. We need your smiling face around here.

Chris

Sally,

I can absolutely relate to the feeling of being afraid to stay alone and then I get upset with myself for thinking like that. I am also a widow, but with no children and no one who checks on me on a regular basis. I am still able to walk unassisted, but not very far. I work two part-time days a week, and other than that there is no one who would check on me should anything happen.

I live in a town house. It is a story and a half. So I have my master bedroom on the first floor, but I do still have stairs to climb to get upstairs to the third bedroom and my office. In addition, I have stairs that go down the front and back of the townhouse. I too am looking for a one floor ground town house, but have not been able to find one. They are hard to come by in my area. I want one to buy. Land is so high here that everything goes up in order to get more square footage.

I really do not have much to add. Sounds like you have a very good support network, which is great. I do agree that you might want to look into one of the medical alert buttons that you wear around your neck. I know what you are saying and you are not alone in this situation. I hate the thought of moving, but if I can find a one floor that I like I will just have to do it.

Good luck to you in making this dicision. It is not an easy one. I am glad you have your daughter there to talk it over with.

Virginia

I talked to my Best Friend and she is a year older than I am. She lives alone and knows exactly what I'm feeling....as many of you, also, know. She has a Daughter close to her, as well. We had a great talk and I feel a lot better about things.

She went through a vulnerable time too....she had an operation and went through a needy period just as I did, with my dental surgery. She was very depressed until she grew stronger and able to take care of herself again. That's what I'm dealing with now.

My home is a one story with basement. I have a chair lift to the basement with a WC there, so that I can get around to do the laundry or whatever. The only prroblem is getting into and out of my house. A couple of deep stairs to get into the garage and the same out the front door.

That's why my DD wants me to have a flat condo, so I can go outside without having to have someone here. That is the only thing I miss, because I have a screened in patio to enjoy, but I won't go out there, because I'm afraid of falling. Otherwise, I am content where I am.

Thank you all so much for listening to my rant and understanding. I'm fine for now and don't want to move, but if something, really neat turns up, I could change my mind. I may make some assessable changes here, such as a lift from the back door to my patio.

Chris66, my rant seems so selfish, when it comes to People like you. I am so sorry for your situation, which is so much scarier than mine. I am going to be praying for you a lot. I hope that your health improves so that you will be able to live comfortabley where you are. Thank you so much for your concern about my piddly rant. Love to You.

Thank you all, You are the best.

Love and hugs,

Sally,

I don't have much to add to the replies that you aready have. One of my suggestions also is for you to start looking for another place to live which is on one level.

One of the medical alert companies is also very important, in my opinion. I have been checking into these products myself. They run about a dollar a day. So, if you need help all you do is touch the button, at which point someone contacts you and finds out what assistance you need.

My main reason for answering the thread is to let you know about a reclining chair that lifts you up in order for you to get out of a chair easier. The one I bought will recline at a 180' angle.

When I get sick, I cannot get out of bed by myself. This meant that I had to sit in a chair all day when my husband was at work so I could get to the bathroom.

With the recliner, I am able to lie down and get some rest during the day. When I want to get up, all I do is push a button and then I am set up so I can get to my walker.

If I was living by myself I know that this recliner would be even more important to me.

This disease is a real bummer and I also spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make my life easier and safer. I know exactly what trials that you are going through and I wish you the best.

The fact that you have relatives near you is so important to your functioning too. You are lucky about this area of your life.

Jean

Jean, thank you for your thoughtful reply. I did buy a recliner, last year, and what a waste of money. It's not automatic and it isn't a lift chair. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I find it hard to operate and hard to get out of. I am considering giving this one to my DD and getting one like yours.

I think I am just a little down right now, because of all I've been through. I need to give myself more time to recuperate, and quit trying to rush things. We people with MS are control freaks and it's so hard for us to be needy.

Thank you all for your replies and concern, and remember, I am here for you too.

Love,

It's totally understandable to be "a little down" and scared after all the things that have happened in the past couple of years.

I can still drive (rather drive once more) so I am not tied to the house as I once was. But now I'm more alone than I ever was. David works from 7 or 9 am each day (including Saturdays) and comes home for dinner around 7 at night. Both girls live near but not near enough to visit regularly. I order my groceries online at www.peapod.com and they are delivered the day after the order is placed. Even tho' I drive and walk, I cannot handle the aisles , fatigue and sensory overload of the grocery store. No longer enjoy any kind of shopping. It's just not worth the effort that it used to be.

When I came home from the hospital last week, it was all I could do to make it from the bed to the bathroom and back. The kitchen was out of reach and that first day, I was alone for 7 hours. I started to take the kind of long hard look at me that you are doing for yourself right now.

What happened with me is that the community (through church, Rotary, my husband's job) started calling and looking in and running errands. I think that support has been there all along and I've just not seen it or asked for it or allowed it in. I never wanted to ask for help but it seems to be there without the asking if I allow it. Perhaps there are other friends who would like to be a bigger part of your life and you have not seen it yet?

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I'm sure you will get your confidence back as time goes by. I think the idea of a single story is a good one. I'm sure the idea of moving is a daunting one. I know there are a lot of assisted living places that are quite nice with care available when needed. Plus they have so many scheduled outings and social occasions.

You are so friendly and nice. I'm sure you'd be a queen bee in that setting!
Feel better soon.
Jean