Hi everyone! Yep that's right, I have another lovely dx to add to my list. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I hate admitting to it because it makes me feel crazy. Sometimes I think I might be.

Just a little briefing on how all this came about....

We all know how bad this economy is and that everyone of us needs a job... or at least some sort of income. Well, I severely put my source of income in jeopardy last week.

I work in a customer service call center and I have to listen to people complain about things and people who are too stupid to figure things out for themselves all day long... Lately I have been having this temper problem where I can almost physically feel a "snap" inside of me and I lose my temper and just blow up.. whether it is on a customer, my boyfriend, or whoever happens to be in the way... which just so happened to be the call center director last week. Now, if you put this in perspective of a normal job, this is the highest up "boss" that you have. I was exhausted from pushing through my slurring on the phones and all I wanted to do was smoke a cig and relax on my measly 10 min break we get. Well, she came outside and told me they were dropping calls and I had to get back in there. Instead of biting my tongue and going in as asked, I decided to be a 3 year old and huff and puff and roll my eyes and storm in the door. She asked what was wrong with me and I just replied I didn't feel good.

Here comes the really stupid part.....

I got back inside and they weren't dropping calls at all, actually, there were people reading and playing cards it was so slow. So I dramatically sat down at my desk and started telling everyone what just happened and just how ****** I was. Finally I got myself so worked up that I had to go to the bathroom to calm down before I hurt myself or someone. Needless to say, I couldn't just walk through the door. I had to throw a nice hard punch into it first and then walked in and started pacing and panting because I was so worked up.

Sounds like Im a nutcase right? I know... and I hope I am not boring you all with this story... I am just trying to see if anyone else with MS has this problem and I wanted to explain the whole story. So here's the rest of it.

The next night at work I get called into the office do to my irrational behavior the night before. I know for a fact initially I was getting fired. Thank God I wasn't cog-foggin it that day. I was able to explain the situation and apologize a million times and I actually was able to get back on day shift which I have been wanting for a while. So in the end it all worked out for the best, but I still feel like a complete jerk.

Went to the doc's two days later and she dx'd me with bipolar disorder basically because of my family history of mental illness. She started me on a whole regimen of drugs. The first week I am taking pexeva, which I guess is paxil. Then its zoloft the next week, then lithium the next, then some other drug the 4th week to see what works best for me.

So after all that boring information... I guess my question is to you guys, Do you ever have moments where you feel like you can't control yourself? Is it the MS or is it really bipolar disorder? Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks to all!!
Marissa