Thank you (((( Kitty )))) for validating and understanding. I think a lot of my problem comes from within.....I just can't seem to find the energy to do what I know needs to be done and what I want to have done. Maybe I'm harder on myself than anyone else is, but it sure would be nice for someone to notice I'm struggling and offer some help now and again. It seems that since I've always been the strong one, always been the one to get it done and to support others that when it's my time for needing assistance they seem to be blind to it, ignorant of it or just plain don't care.

(((Seara)))

I'm so sorry to hear about the problems with the family. Double hard around the holidays.

I like Ali's idea about writing a letter. I know hubby and I had to have a major talk when all this started. Both to let him know I would need help and for him to let me know to open my mouth when I needed help.

For me, it took me a long time to get to the point of asking for help. I'm a perfectionist in heart, and no one seems to do it the right (aka my ) way. But I've learned to not let it get to me as much anymore. And like Kitty said, if it doesn't get done even with my asking for help, it just won't get done.

My MIL still doesn't get it, but that's her nature. My family gets it all to well because of family history, and that can be almost as annoying since I have to reassure them quite a bit.

Hope things get better soon for you.

Seara - I'm so sorry for what you are going through, and I can so relate. I'm always the one who makes sure that everything gets done, holidays, birthdays, vacations, bills, housework. Unfortunately, most of the times when I'm feeling really bad, it isn't always visible to those around me. It's hard, but I've had to learn to ask for help and not wait for those around me to offer. Or, like this holiday season, I've accepted that I can't do all that I want to, and it's still going to be okay. I'm just trying to relax and enjoy the holiday.

I hope you can ask for and get the help you need and deserve! Take care of yourself first!

Ali, are you sure you are only 13?

Do You mind if I share your lovely Poem?


((((((((((((Seara)))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((Seara)))))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry your family doesn't understand. I truly can say I do understand. The holidays just make all of what we go through just seem harder. Please know even though I'm not your family, I hear you. Hang in there and know we're here for you.

Ali, Thank you for your poem. You are truly wise beyond your years.

LOL - yeah, I promise you i'm only 13!! I hear so many people say that they can't believe i'm only that age and think i'm a lot older!

Of course I don't mind you using the poem - that is what it is there for and I am so glad you like it - it's amazing what you can do in a night when you can't sleep (that's when I find it easier to write poems for some reason!).

Thank you for your kind words - I hope you're having a good day!

Wow, Ali! Great poem! Too bad your Dad & family won't listen.

((((Seara)))), I'm so sorry you feel so alone. Where do you live? There's got to be someone who can help you (I hope).

Seara - I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard when those around us just don't understand.

Many times, I have to take a step back and put things in a different perspective. No one will really understand what it is like unless they have been there. I have found this to be true in many areas of my life and many family members and friends years later have apologized to me as they didn't realize what it was truly like to be in that situation.

I use this same perspective when dealing with family members not fully understanding what I am going through. It helps.

In the meantime, do what you can and if it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done. DDs know this 1st hand. So if it is not done, most times, they will pitch in an help out.

You also have all of us who certainly have a better understanding of what you are going through. So, spill the tears on us and we all will help you to dry up the tears and give you encouragement.

(((((((((((( Everyone )))))))))))))))

You have made me feel so blessed...thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I would love to answer each of your posts...and plan on doing so, but right now I have to take my grandson to the doctors....

Thanks again....really and truly!!!


seara

And that's when you ASK however you have to ask. And don't take no for an answer since YOU deserve a turn now and again.