((( Seara ))) I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I certainly understand your feelings of frustration.

It was the same for me, and still is to some extent, but I'm lucky in that I have a very understanding husband now.

The only birth famly I have left is one sister, but she has no idea about MS, infact I think she's jealous that I actually have a diagnosable condition when she always likes to be the center of attention when it comes to illness and such.

I'm pleased that you felt you could lean on us Seara......... that's what we're here for.

ali, that poem was beautiful.
you have a real talent.
you should submit that somewhere, maybe an MS magazine.

seara, my heart goes out to you.
it's so hard to deal with friends and family who don't get it.
maybe if you do less your family will appreciate more.

i pray in the new year that your family will be able to show you more support.

You have all helped me to calm down a bit and relax. Bless you!!!

I've tried various things over the years from being blunt and honest to me just not doing things I can't do and they just don't seem to get it. I don't expect them to completely understand what I'm going through.....I think an expectation like that would never be filled except by people who share in the same kind of pain/illness. But to have them for once, stop and think about someone other than themselves for a few short minutes or dang it even one afternoon would prove to me that I had at least been able to teach them 1. good manners, 2. compassion for others, 3. that the world doesn't revolve around them!

They say the best way to teach is by example....I have not been perfect in my teachings but I sure have tried to show them the previous three points I made in my dealings not only with them, but with others as well. I've worked with the disabled and thoroughly enjoyed what I did. I've volunteered as much as I can where I can. I will sit up with a friend who was dumped and crying all night. And most of all, I have been there with them through every twist and turn their life has taken them......*sigh* My love for my family carries no expectations....but my symptoms and illness require some help. Maybe I'm being too demanding.....maybe what I've tried to teach them went in one ear and out the other...who knows.

(((Ali))) thank you dear one for sharing such a beautiful poem. You are indeed talented and wise beyond your years sweetheart. You are in my prayers hon.

((((((( Everyone ))))))))) I just can't get over the support you have shown me. Now I'm crying with tears of gratitude. I will take all that you share with me to heart and I will dwell on it and do my best to take care of ME.

BTW, my door is always open to anyone needing a shoulder to lean on. I'm a good listener and I have a wicked sense of humor....I'm pretty good at making people laugh....so feel free to rap on my door anytime!

xoxoxo
seara

Knock, knock...

Reply: Who's there?

Twink: Watch

Reply: Watch who?

Twink: God Bless You!

Seara, I hear you loud and clear!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this "family" problem too. Why is it that people are so interested when we're first diagnosed and as time goes by and we really need their help and understanding, they seem to have blocked out the reality and figure it's just something that's part of our lives and no big deal. If it's something a person "gets over", everyone is right there offering help, love, compassion, but it seems when it's long term -- like for life -- they lose interest and here we are, on our own.

Ali, thank you for your wonderful poem. You have a God-given talent in your writing. Your wisdom goes far beyond your years. Hugs to you.

Thank you Seara for bringing up this subject. As our MS progresses, it seems to be a problem for many of us. You got it right when saying you were the "type A" person in your family to get all the details taken care of and that expectation seems to continue. Of course being a type A myself, maybe we're expecting too much from ourselves. Those people weren't there before, but we were able to do it all ourselves so it didn't matter so much. Now that we are limited, the frustration on our part is greater and we are realizing how it's "always been". Does this make sense? Must be the season for whines!! All the TV movies about family, friends, etc., are just a dream when you're all alone.

Gentle hugs and feel free to use my shoulder any time.........

((( Judy )))) Thank you so much for bringing me around about my own expectations....you really hit the nail on the head. Asking for help has NEVER been my strong suit. Verbalizing what I need hasn't been on top of the list either *sigh*. I really need to work on this.....


seara