Hi,
This is a pitiful post.

I am involved with a group of people who study books about metaphysics, spiritual, wholesome things (for lack of better description). The people in this group are very involved in energy healing (Reiki), natural cures, organic eating and living green, holistic lifestyles... Some of them believe that if you are sick, you choose to be sick -- but before you feel anger - please understand - they are not "condeming" or critical and I am not qualified nor capable of explaining this thought process since much of this is fairly new to me and I don't agree with everybody.

I love these people and I am learning so much. It is making me so aware of the food you put in your mouth, where it comes from, the lotions on our skin, the cleaners we use and things that are toxins. What I am learning is so valuable to me and the people are so wonderful and loving and good people...

And now, here comes the negative. I cannot control when I am sick, yesterday I had a horrible migraine, I tried so hard not to take my Imitrex, to breathe deeply and meditate and 2 of ladies did a Reiki treatment on me. In the end, by the end of the day I was so sick, nearly vomitting, and I had to take an Imitrex. The drug stopped my migraine, amazingly, but my body by then, had become completely stiff and so painful that I could barely move -- this happens when I get a really bad migraine or get too hot, or just overdo it. Sometimes this happens even before I get the migraine. I don't know WHY, I don't know if this is a manifestation of MS, or if this is only a result of the migraine but the pain is awful. Today I am still in horrible pain and came home from work because I was having so much trouble walking.

Soooo my frustration is that I am trying so hard to live more purely, holistically, and healthy and when I get completely sick, I find myself feeling like a failure. It is a little depressing. I have an appointment with a Naturopahty doctor in April to try a more holistic approach to my health in general.

I don't know why I posted this - I just had to say it somewhere to somebody that can understand me. I just want to be healthy and well and out of pain.

Do you think the pain/ stiffness that I experience with migraines is a manifestation of MS or some very strange migraine problem ???? I don't know anybody who has migraines that has their entire body effected.

I'm just sad - just very sad about the whole thing. I'm even signed up to take a Reiki class to try and help heal myself through energy healing. I guess I would do just about anything to get better....

Snoods