Maybe 30 years of constant pain is something that means I am just not going to be able to meditate.

If you've been in pain for 30 years, what's the diagnosis?! I think that's the bigger issue. Has anyone told you why?

I really wonder if it's an inflammatory disease, like polymyositis, ankylosing spondylitis, or some such one.

I'm really sorry you aren't receiving the proper care, JJ.

Annie

Annie, you really are a top top caring person.

No the pain is from a soft tissue knee injury when I was 21. It has been x-rayed etc, but the doctors could see nothing wrong, and the most that was ever suggested was an exploratory op to see if they could find anything. Since there were so many Ifs and Buts in that option, and that I have a hospital phobia, I opted not too. So the pain has been with me for 30 years. It varies from niggling, to ahh f***! But it never goes away.

But thanks for caring. That is more than the doctors do.

We all care, and we all get this stuff.

You might need a knee replacement. You could have bone on bone going on in your knee. They can give shots (not steroid) to help with lubrication.

At least get an x-ray or MRI of your knee. The orthopedic surgeons are the best to go see to evaluate a knee.

I hyperextended and dislocated my knee in 1984, which was misdiagnosed and lead to lock knee. I had to have surgery. I get the knee problems. But these days there are solutions!

Could you have RSD from the injury? Has a neuro evaluated the knee?

There must be doctors there who would care for you. They aren't all unfeeling robots!

A phobia is best overcome by facing it. Bring someone verbally strong with you to take on any mistreatment. But don't expect that you will be hurt. You have the power over that—by saying, "NO!"

You need help. I hope you find it.


Annie