[Annie59]

Just had to post a bit about the realization that my new home aid is not working out. I am not sure why or if this person is just this way and it is a mistake by the agency. I asked for someone who could work, do things without alot of intervention . But she is kinda doing her own thing turning my home into hers it feels. And now its not just costing me time and trouble it is costing me money as she bought groceries I cant eat and were explained to her yet she got other things. My last person would call on her cell to ask about things when something was out or different. I have explained things that now she is just not doing. She is real smart and capable. It just isnt working.

I hate the idea of starting again with someone else but at this point it would be easier. The agency itself isnt returning phone calls so I think it may be best to change agencies all together.

Hate hate hate this. I guess it seems obvious to me that a person who is so sick needs to be asked and consulted and not just bulldozed. I have lost enoguh this year and now she is losing my fricken underpants because she is reorganizing and not telling where to!! What may have pushed to the end here is that this is the second week I asked about her putting lotion on my back and she acted like yes and then didnt do it.

Annie59

[suev]

It is very difficult to depend on someone else for things that we once did without thought. At first, my aunt had a terrible time coping with home health aides. She went through about 5 of them in fairly rapid order...until she (my aunt) made some changes. Let me share them with you.

1) she put everything in a written list - starting with the tasks that were to be accomplished in the visit. She made sure she set the aide up to succeed...every task listed could easily be accomplished in the time they had together.

if the aide was to be there for 4 hours, the list might be:
1) bathe and lotion
2) grocery shopping
3) change linens
4) laundry

2) for shopping trips, everything was in writing with instructions at the top that said
'no substitutes...when in doubt - leave it out!'
Now sometimes this meant she didn't get what she wanted until the next trip after a
discussion with the aide -- but she never had to pay for the wrong item either.
(this was before cell phones - so it should be easier now...virtual shopping!)

3) Once she found an aide with 'potential' - she stuck with that aide for as long as possible. Otherwise, you will always be in the 'getting to know you' stage. Her last aide was with her for 4 years - and they become genuinely fond of each other.

We all like certain things and like other things done certain ways, and it is very hard and stressful to experience changes from our preferences. And writing everything down is an effort. But having a written agenda might work better for both you and your aide.

[craftyRCC]

Great example suev, your aunt's approach seemed realistic.

Some folks need a longer "breaking in" period than others. It's not good to always be in that "getting to know you" phase.

Annie, we know things are extremely tough for you right know, it seems like this is just one more thing that isn't working out as you had planned. Maybe if you try suev's suggestions your HA might just work out after all.

Sending good thoughts your way!
Rachel