I applied for Social Security Disability last Winter. During the last week I went to two disability related Dr appointments, I really need to talk about it. I hope you guys don't mind...this is truly just a rant...

I saw two seperate doctors, one was a mental exam, the other a physical exam.

The mental exam was very easy, the doctor kind and considerate, even sympathizing with me and telling me that if I don't get disability awarded the first time, that she recommends I apply again. She explained all her questions and I felt so comfortable. (Note - I have post traumatic stress disorder, I think that is why I had a mental exam)

The physical exam was awful!!! I've been crying on and off for two days since...that doctor was terrible! She never explained any of the exam other than to say at the beginning that it was a physical exam. She asked me lots of questions, about things that seemed irrelevant, like where I went to college, how long I worked at various jobs.

During the questioning she would occasionally stop and say things like, "walk across the room for me", then she would go back to asking things like, "how much do you think you could work?", and I explained the variability of how I feel and that I thougth I could possibly work a few hrs a day, as long as I could take days off when needed...she jumped in and said, "how about 4 hrs?", "how about 6 hrs"...I felt like I never fininished any of my answers before she threw something else at me.

I have no idea how I answered those questions, I just wanted out of there. Her questioning triggered my PTSD and I started sweating and shaking (the sad thing, as far as a physical exam goes, is that triggering my PTSD makes me strong for a short time, somehow it makes the MG go away for a short time, and then I crash).

I could hardly hear her voice (because my head was spinning and I wanted to run away)...I know I answered some of her questions wrong, I even said "yes" when she finally got around to asking me if I could work a full 8 hour shift once a week...then I paused and said something like "oh, I don't really think I could do that, I'd need to take a big nap in the middle of the day and stay in bed the rest of the week to recover" and she said, "so you think you COULD do it, if you were allowed to rest?. And I said, well, maybe if I had to, but I don't know how long I could keep doing it.

I feel crazy now! My head is spinning and I feel like she was leading the questions, continuing to ask different versions of the same question until I gave in and said yes in some form, or at least a maybe which she pushed into some form of a yes in her answer.

She asked me why I don't just go get a part time engineering job, since that is what my degree is in. I told her there were two reasons, the PTSD makes me have difficulty doing that kind of work, and the second reason is because I've never seen a part time professional job (I have looked seriously into this for many years, even before I got MG). Ever heard of an engineer who works 2 hrs a week?

I thought it was suppposed to be a physical exam, which she did do, in between all the questioning.

The worst thing is, at the end, she said "we are done now" and started writing on her paper...I was confused and asked if I could leave. Most of the time doctors get up and say goodbye, shake your hand, something...she just ignored me...and then she said as I was walking out, "you do know that people with professional degrees rarely get awarded disability, right? I can't even remember what I said, I probably had some stupid look on my face, maybe I shrugged, all I could think of is that I wanted away from this woman.

I feel like I was attacked mentally, interrogated roughly....that was the worst doctor visit in my life...I haven't felt the same since...I am having difficulty even communicating with my kids let alone anyone, after that. Someone asks me a question and my mind wanders elsewhere.

Oh, one more thing...she actually commented during the exam that it was possible the MG was just a symptom of the post traumatic stress and asked if anyone has tried to treat me with mental therapy for MG, maybe I didn't even have MG at all and just needed a better therapist for the trauma. She pushed this issue after I explained that I have postive antibody tests for MG, saying, "well, hasn't anyone at least explored this possibility?" I had to answer no since my neurologist never even mentioned that my symptoms were all in my head...I guess I should be thankful...

I am falling into a depression, I think worse that I have ever been in...that was awful...

This woman abused you, Susan. Verbally and mentally assaulted you. It's reprehensible. Which, by the way, is not your fault!!!! One thing they do to people is what she did to you . . . try to make it look like you're faking by getting you to change what you say. They want to make applicants look like they're lying. It's so horrid.

I honestly believe that these doctors get "paid" to find reasons to turn down social security applicants. She obviously knows nothing about MG. PTSD does not cause MG antibodies. I had my MG before my PTSD. Good grief. And they don't give SSDI to people with professional degrees? They sure as heck do. I have a B.S. and Masters degrees.

You need to figure out a way to stand your ground with people. Don't let them do this to you. You know there's no way you could work a full-time job. How do you feel after simply buying groceries? Probably not very good.

I'm really sorry you had this experience. Do not give up. I got "rejected" two times before my hearing with a judge. He approved it for me in court.

Hang in there! Don't beat up on yourself. Do not let complete strangers define who you are. Again, I'm so sorry you were treated this way.


Annie

Sorry to hear your trials - some of these people just don't get it and you wish they would come down with MG so they could see how crappy it can be to deal with! They don't realize part of the time how hard it is to make rational decisions and answer in a correct way.
I have found when dealing with some Drs and others that we need to is to just SLOW way down when answering - almost to the point of we are confused and need to think about it - if nothing else it puts the "snappy" ones back on there heals a bit....
Good luck.
I know what you mean about some situations seem to provide some kind of stimulus that makes one feel almost normal for a brief spell - I too have had and the following sweats and the crash effect. I thought it was just me!
Randy

Thanks Annie, it feels good to have my instincts confirmed.

I usually stand up for myself well, but I think I was tired from the first doctor appointment.

I imagine if a person read my answers without seeing my confusion, they may think I am lying.

This is the first I've heard of disability being withheld because a person has a degree, I thought it sounded crazy. It felt like she added that comment in just to be hurtful.

You are right about grocery shopping, it is such hard work as is everything with MG...I feel like I've worked a full time job and all I've done is basic self care. I would love to be working and I told her so.

If I get turned down, I'm going to try again with the help of an attorney.



Smokey, thank you. I do usually communicate better, but I really fell apart in this one. If I have to go through this again, I'll keep thinking to myself to take my time in answering. In this meeting, I'm not sure I ever even finished my sentences before she interupted with the next request. Since I got MG, I can't function feeling rushed like this.

Funny how adrenaline (or whatever it is) can give us energy. The odd thing is that certain things, such as if I get startled when the phone rings, can make me get weak suddenly and I end up on the floor. And situations like this where I feel threatened by a person, gives me energy for a short time, sometimes I can't even tell I have MG at all, but the effect goes away as soon as I calm down...


Thanks for the support, I really needed it.

Hi Desert Flower,

Like everyone else, I'm so sorry for the treatment you received from that doctor. But I'm also confused (which isn't unusual for me these days) as to why you didn't use your original neurologist for the SSDI evaluation. It sounds like that doctor did all the testing needed to get the MG diagnosis.

I've posted my experience before on this site but I started my SSDI request about 6 months after my diagnosis using a lawyer who has experience in this field. Once I started my application online and received a call from the government verifying the details, they established a claim number and I gave that information to my lawyer. The SSDI office sent me a package of paperwork (several inches think) to fill out and told me that they would send paperwork directly to my neurologist for him to complete.

My lawyer immediately notified the SSDI office by letter telling them that he represented me and he also sent me a form for my neurologist to complete and the lawyer sent that to SSDI with a letter saying that it was obvious that I fit the required medical conditions while we made sure the doctor completed the SSDI paperwork promptly. My lawyer also let them know that we would appeal if my request was denied. I was approved at exactly 90 days from my initial request.

It is the law that the lawyer cannot receive any compensation unless your application is approved and then they can only collect I believe 20% of the total initial payment from SSDI. I've been told that a diagnosis of MG is one of the diseases that is automatically approved by SSDI. Don't know for sure but their website list the approved diseases.

I believe that the lawyer's assistance helped with my approval plus it took alot of the mental hassel from my husband and me as we had been through so much at the onset of this horrible disease (I also have SPS). Some may think that the cost isn't worth it, but I believe that anything that helps relieve the stress that we live with every day is worth it.

Hope this helps - sorry it's a long response. Dealing with the government is not an easy thing, but try to be strong and don't give up..

Southern Bell

Sourthern Bell,thank you for your response.

To explain: The social security office decided they needed an independant examination. They already had information from my neurologist and therapist. As far as I know I didn't have a choice to use my neurologist, plus I am not sure it would make sense to do so, since he only knows about my MG and thinks as far as the MG goes, I should be able to live a "normal" life.

I am glad you were awarded SSDI.

I would have preferred using a lawyer, but to be honest, it was less energy to just fill out those applications online...If I had waited until I had the energy to call a lawyer, I'd still be waiting (I have issues with phones, using phones triggers my PTSD, which triggers the MG...I avoid phones as much as possible).

It shouldn't surprise any of us that the road to SSDI isn't easy. I feel lucky that my experience was smooth.

Again I wish you luck and hope you can keep up the strength to win the fight.

Southern Bell