I think you're right. Whether it was from all the pain I'm in, the pain meds, or my apprehension about the spine surgery, I was feeling bad for myself and thinking about all the other people I knew who have been able to do much more. As someone who had a 3.9 average in high school and went to a good college despite being in constant pain, I thought I'd be able to do much more with my life.

As it is, I have a good job--which isn't real secure as the position may go away and I could be moved to a different position anywhere in the country at the moment, but its unlikely I'll lose my job. This is why I'm breaking my back to take these courses, so I have some control over where I get moved to. I also have people I can talk to at work, even if my social life isn't that great.

I did make a mistake in my original post as I was kind of writing in stream of consciousness. I was probably too specific about why I stopped seeing the girl I really liked, but so much time has gone by I don't think it matters.

The more I think about it, you're right that those relationships are in the past for a reason. I originally told the whole story here of what happened, but I don't think that's necessary. I'll just say she severely abused the fact that we'd been friends for five years and I trusted her. I think she felt bad afterward because, as I said, she called me out of the blue a long time later and invited me out, but that flopped.

Its been over 10 years and I'm sure she's grown up since then. I know I have. While I don't think anything is wrong with seeing what people have been doing with their lives, I think I have o think about going forward and finding new friends, not going backward.

Hello,
Im new today. I was diagnosed in 2007 with MG, and it has been a pain in my butt. After discovering the tumor from my thymus gland, it ws removed and all has been pretty good. My neurologist moved away, and I havent seen one since. I now have a new Dr. and things are starting to reoccur. Mainly I having eating problems and talking problems. Im very embarrassed to go anywhere because I feel like an idiot when I want to talk and I cant. I went away on a hunting trip last week and had an awful time getting air into my lungs. Not sure if it was from the MG or need exercise. My dr. told me about this miastetic crises and I wonder if that was what I was having. He has started me on imuran now to get my antibody level down. Im just trying to know if htis is going to get worse for me, or is this the worst of it. And to move on enjoying my life ??

Tim,

I'm sorry you're having to go through all of this. I've been there so I know how it feels. If you're having trouble getting air, it could have been a myasthenic crisis. Its probably hard to get help out in the woods, but normally this would be a cause to go to the ER. Its also possible it could have been a cholinergic (sp) crisis depending on how much mestinon you're on.

Just for future reference, I had a cholinergic crisis when I first started mestinon and was put on too high a dose. The ER doc sedated me and had me sleep it off (since my main problem was seizure like muscle twitches). My neurologist at the time was upset when he heard and said they should have given me atropine since I could have stopped breathing while I slept.

I used to get the talking issue quite a bit. I found that coworkers, even ones that didn't know I had MG and thought I had some kind of speech impediment, would be quite forgiving and give me time to get the words out. Family and friends who should have known better would get upset and tell me to get the words out.

The other issue I used to get was a feeling that my eyes were glued shut when I would try and look too many directions too quickly. This was really a problem at meetings at work and I tried to limit my meetings to only those necessary. This led me to skipping an ongoing meeting that had been assigned to me, but I really had no business going to since it concerned a system I had no access to and never would.

Long story short, my being there played into politics far above my grade level and I was gumming up the works and almost lost my job over it. I handled the situation poorly, but this was prior to my diagnosis and I didn't know how to tell my boss that my eyelids had stopped working.

I had my thymus removed about a year ago and the speech issues are pretty much gone and my eyelid problems, while still there, have gotten much better.

Social issues are another matter. Sometimes I feel like I was better off socially as an invalid because then I had an excuse for not having much of a life. Now I can get around, but have nothing to do. Everyone I work with is older and I've had some limited contact with my old friends through Facebook, but haven't really gotten far on that front.

I've tried finding groups to go to, but they're either too expensive or for an older age group. There's a nightclub near me that offers swing dancing and line dancing lessons on Thursday evenings and it says singles are welcome, so I was thinking I'd try that.

There's a couple nightclubs and bars close to me. I think I should be ok going to them and sitting at the bar for a drink or two so long as I give myself plenty of time before I drive. My parents have gotten upset at me for both drinking (with my meds) and going out alone. As far as the first, they're probably right, but if I sit there long enough the alcohol is out of my system; as far as the second, I'm starting to feel like a prisoner sitting at home since I don't have anyone to go out with.

Sorry I got a little off topic, but give the thymectomy time to work and things should start improving. My biggest problem is still double vision, but even that has gotten much better. Its only been a year for me, so I'm hoping things will keep getting better.

Not trying to stop people from replying if you have something relevant as I think important things have been brought up by Tim, Ginnie, me, et al; but have you ever admitted to something you shouldn't have on a message board and then figured, that thread will just die a slow death . Then people actually had useful stuff to say....

If you have useful stuff to add, keep it coming. I don't want to cut anyone off.

If you have something that you think deserves its own thread, please start a new one. Sorry if I seem paranoid, but there is some logic behind me not wanting the thread constantly on top...

If you're curious PM me.