[jouxson]

Hi, i'm jouxson and i'm new to Neuro Talk. I'm very nervous about joining and not quiet sure what to do. I'm a 37 year old female with three wonderful children and a very caring and supportive family. I am very worried about some symptoms i have which is made worse by the fact i lack trust in doctors as i was mis-diagnoised with MS 11 years ago which left me with anxiety and depression at the time i had a toddler and a 3 month old baby which as you can image left me devasted. Then 6 months later i was told i had not got MS. Of course i was very reliefed but the whole experience left alot of doubt in my mind. For the depression i was treated for depression with sertraline/zoloft, which helped me over the following 8 years. I then had to come of all medication as i was expecting my third baby. withdrawel from the medication was unpleasant but bearable, the only effect that lst and waxed and waned for months was parathesia which is tingling, itching and burning, this lasted on and of for months. At first docs said it was discontinuation syndrome from sertraline but when it persisted iwas sent to see a neuro doc which said it was now probably anxiety related so i went away and lived with it and i only get it ocaassionally. I had many other symptoms that could be either anxiety or neurological, my doc said anxiety and depression can mimic serious disorders i found the symptoms hard to handle and ws able to accept anxiey alone as a diagnosis so i decieced maybe it was time to go back on a antidepresant i felt like i was going crazy but the mis- diagnoises had just left that doubt lingering. When i tried to return on sertraline the pins and needles returned and was not tolerable, i tried three times to go back on it but i could not. Then i october last year i fell quiet poorly, i lost my balance, the room spun, i felt like i was moving when i was not, and was so sick i had to be hospitalized for two weeks, as a doctor wanted to rule out MS, stroke, ear disorder etc... when MS was mentioned again i really thought i was loosing the plot. I had to had neumurous investigations including a mri scan which was normal. The final diagnoisis was bppv a inner ear disorder. I was extremely relieved. During my stay in h ospital i had the most awful experince, for the persitant nausea and vomiting i was introveniously admisterd to anti-emtic drugs ( antisickness) twenty minuets after i was given the medication i developed an very bad reaction called akatahsia, it was truly horrendious i could not for 1 minuet keep still i was running round, unable to keep still, sit, lye nothing it was like i was being driven i thought i was going crazy its lasted over thirty six hours i'd had a dystonic reation to the drugs which actually can cause people to end there lives its so distressing. I was given vestibula rehabilitation for 3 months for my brain to compensate for the ear problem and i fully recovered, but was told it could return. But thats life and as it was not life threating i had to live with the fact as i did, but i could not get the experience of akathasia out my mind especially as i'd had these drugs before and not had a reaction, also i had noticed my left index finger stared to twitch in certain postions and the twich/tremor was very fast it scared me, i went to the doc and he was not worried. I was still very concerned and did the most stupid thing and looked on the internet at both akathasia and finger tremors, and parkinsons came up i was worried, i also was horrified to discover although extremly rare there is thought to be a link with sertraline and parkinsons disease i was very upset as i'd been on sertraline for 8 years. so i convinced my self the akathasia from the anti-sickness medication occured due to the fact my brain as left someone permanatly depleted of dopamine, and thats why i got the akathasia. Doctors again reassured me that it was very very rare for antidepressants to causes parkinsons. But they had no explanation for my tremor. I went and payed private to see a psychiatrist as the uncertainty was hard to swollow, he put me on an old antidepressant called clomiprimine which he said would not cause parkinsons or akathasia, i started taking it about 10 days ago, and after the third day i was extremly agitated and restless i felt awful, it was not full blown akathasia but felt like the start, that was not the only problem i had on it i have just had to go to hospital to be cataterized as it caused severe urine retention which was not nice and was tol i had to stop the medication immediatley. I'M feeling preety low and anxious especially as for some reason i can no longer tolerate antidepressants. I was very upset as the psychiatrist told me to trust him about the akathasia and he ask me not to lok at the leaflet and guess what it said on the side effect list ... yes it could cause akathasia not as common as the ssris but it could, i can not seen to trust anyone. My tremor in my finger seems worse and seen to make my thumb shake too, but all my docs say is don't worry. I no longer know which way to turn and i'm very scared i have some sort of neuro logical condition. I', sorry my story is lon but would appreciate any advice. thankyou for reading my post xx