[Darlene]

Hello and welcome to NeuroTalk. Happy to see you have come to be with us. Just let us know if we can be of any help.

There are great number of fellow members here to assist as possible. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Again welcome, looking forward to seeing you around.

Darlene

[Alffe]

Hi Peg and welome to NeuroTalk. Here is the link to our very active MS forum..http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum17.html

It's a great place to find support and share information. I'm glad you've joined us.

[Friend2U]

Peg,
So nice to meet you and glad you decided to join us. It sounds like you have been through a lot. Please know that you have found folks here who really care! Please join in and let us know how we can help!

How old were you when you were diagnosed, and what symptoms were you having back then? How did you come to be supect that it might be MS?


Best Wishes,
~Friend

[PegMeerkatz]

I had symptoms going back to my mid-teens; extreme fatigue following my softball games; sleeping for days after a bike run (I did marathon bike rides); weak limbs; sometimes blurred vision when I was overheated. However, I was heavily involved in alcohol & ah... other substances. So everyone attributed it to that. There was nothing serious enough to cause any long lasting symptoms. When I was 22 I was in a car accident - of sorts.

I was gettting onto a parkway & had a tire blowout. There were 3 of us that experienced the same things (something was sticking out of the curb). We were about 20/ 25 feet off the parkway up on grass changing tires. A young man stopped & was changing my front right tire. I was leaning on the side of the car; a small hatchback. A drunk driver getting onto the parkway saw the thing sticking out of the curb & swerved to avoid it (I am told), he lost control & struck the back of my car (I was the end car).

I woke up in the hospital with a concussion & a fractured elbow. I was told I was thrown over 20 feet. The young man changing my tire was killed when my car came down on top of him.

Following the accident I started having symptoms unrelated to the accident; mostly weak limbs & coordination problems. Doctors spent a great deal of time trying to say it was the drugs & alcohol &/or it was all in my head but when my vision became affected someone gathered all the test results then did a spinal tap as well as some visual tests which confirmed multiple sclerosis; I was 23 years old.

At the time I was diagnosed there were no medications & the doctors knowledge was limited. They call it a time of diagnosis & adios. I eventually got weak enough to be in a wheelchair. By this time I was trying to get clean & sober & had began college after almost 8 years away from school.

I got & stayed cleaned & sober earned my degree & advanced degrees & began a short career as a drug & alcohol counselor working with mentally ill adults; the underserved populations homeless, adult home (deinstitutionalized mentally ill) & those abandoned in nursing homes.

About 10 years ago I started having MS cognitive problems & following an MS relapse I was advised to retire.

9 years ago after 16 years clean & sober & discouraged by having to retire, having to sell my condo & return to NY I relapsed.

With the help of my good friend (therapist, mentor, my everything) I got back into recovery & have almost 7 years clean & sober again. Sandra started out as my psychiatrist helping me get clean & sober & work on family issues; I saw her for over 20 years. She was a couple years older than I am & had lupus. We became friends over that time.

Sandra's birthday was in December & I could not reach her. I was supposed to see her the 1st week of January 2003 & she called & cancelled she left a message on my voicemail saying she was not feeling well but would be in touch. I kept trying to reach Sandra after that but she DID NOT call back then her voicemails were full (home, office & cell phone). On the morning of my 3rd anniversary clean & sober January 16, 2003 I KNEW something was wrong. Sandra promised to be there & I still could not reach her.

Sandra rented her office from a psychologist. I called the psychologist when Sandra's voicemails were still full. He very matter of factly said "Sandra died a couple days ago" & he hung up on me. With a little detective work I reached Sandra's husband. She contracted an infection & then the lupus began attacking her organs. Sandra's husband made lots of promises; he was going to return all of my journals (Sandra had my journals dating back to childhood); some books & other things that she had borrowed as well as some chotskies I gave her over the years. Instead a few weeks later he changed his numbers & I could not reach him. I not only lost Sandra I lost a good chunk of my life.

I have struggled almost every day of my 48 years (I will be 49 next month) & with Sandra I could handle almost anything that came along but when Sandra died a part of me died. I have not been the same & do not think I will ever be the same again. She was my lifeline.

Now the MS is secondary progressive bringing it with it massive limitations & challenges & most days I find it just too hard to cope & often retreat to my bed for days at a time. There have been other therapists since Sandra, I am seeing one now but it can NEVER be the same; Sandra was a part of me.

I HONESTLY BELIEVE that I would be coping a lot better with the MS & a lot better with life if only Sandra were here.

Many people live by the acronym WWJD (what would jesus do) I DO NOT believe in god but almost every day when faced with some difficulty I think WWSD? (what would sandra do)

Last night as I flipped channels on TV Suzy Orman was on & saying something about life not being short & how people can live 85 or 90 years or more. All I could think was how in the world can I make it to 50 never mind 80 or 90.

[Alffe]

Hi again Peg. You have certainly had more than your share pain and grief in your life..I am sorry. Again I leave you the link for our wonderful MS forum...http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum17.html

This Newcomers Forum is more of an introductory forum.
MS'ers understand what you're having to deal with and can share what "works" for them in coping with it all.

It is difficult to read the color of your posts and it would be most helful if the print were larger and the paragraphs shorter. Some of us suffer from problems with our eyesight and attention span but we all want to help give you some relief from all that you are experiencing. We are good listeners.

[tamiloo]

Just wanted to say Welcome to Neuro Talk!!
Alffe gave a link to one of our busiest forums...hope you can find some answers there...feel free to jump in anywhere you like...