Hello, website.

My name Liz. I'm 20 years old, and live outside Philly. I've been on a couple anxiety forum sites in the past, but not for a couple of years. Thought I'd give it another try, now that I have a clearer diagnosis for my crazies.

I have a form of hyperacute hearing, which has been in full swing for about 17 years. I didn't know my issue had a name until very recently, so until then I was insanely confused and frustrated about it. I see a tinnitus doctor now, and I have those little earbud things that play white noise. They actually help a lot. As a little kid, a bigger variety of noises would get to me (fireworks, the brakes on a train, and human noises like applause and loud laughter). My response was to cry, but I don't remember being self conscious or angry about it. As I got older, most of the previous noises didn't bother me anymore. But laughter has always stuck. I have no idea why. The sound of laughter, mostly from a group of people, or from one person who had a loud or shrill laugh, would make me miserable and angry (and still does. on some occasions). As I grew up, my reactions made me feel guilty as well as sad and embarrassed.

What is toughest for me is thinking about how people would view me if I told them about my problem. Average hyperacusis is one thing: people get ticked by sounds of chewing, gum-snapping, or a tapping foot. But I feel like a bad person because I don't like to hear people laugh. It's not the same as wanting people to be unhappy, but I could understand if that's what someone thought of me after seeing my reaction. Every aspect of the issue is crippling. It limits my social interactions, education options, job opportunities, and self esteem.

Anyway, that's my glum intro. Thanks for reading.